Episode 19 - Channel Your 2018!

[00:00:01] Speaker A: What? [00:00:01] Speaker B: Ooh, sorry, Jeremy. Nat one. You know what that means. [00:00:06] Speaker A: No, please. [00:00:07] Speaker B: I have three kids. [00:00:08] Speaker A: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a sec, Kayla. This podcast is not for kids. Content warnings can be found in the episode description. Go ahead. [00:00:51] Speaker B: Hello, and welcome to another episode of tales from the tabletop. I'm your favorite DM, Kayla Williams. [00:00:58] Speaker A: And I am the best DM cook around, Jeff Lunter. How's everyone doing? [00:01:03] Speaker B: What are you cooking, Jeff? [00:01:04] Speaker A: Cooking fucking snoop Dogg ribs, baby. I'm gonna burn my hand open again. Wait, you don't like ribs? [00:01:11] Speaker B: Oh, ribs. Snoop Dogg ribs, I think. [00:01:14] Speaker A: What did you think I said? [00:01:16] Speaker B: Riffs. Like you're cooking up beets in the kitchen, bro. [00:01:20] Speaker A: I'm serving up some fucking hot, tasty dog riffs. [00:01:24] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:01:25] Speaker A: Here we go. [00:01:26] Speaker B: You're not that guy, Jeffrey. Well, you are in a band riffs. [00:01:30] Speaker A: Yeah, we're Snoop Dogg cover bands. [00:01:32] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Listen to revolver, revolver on Spotify. [00:01:35] Speaker A: What's up, guys? Hey, we got some pretty good fucking music for you. I mean, podcast in here for you. [00:01:40] Speaker B: Today, and shameless plug already. I don't burn myself when I cook. I'm just built different like that. I was a girl scout. [00:01:46] Speaker A: I'm what? How does that make you a better cook? [00:01:49] Speaker B: Because I learned about fire safety. Geoffrey, you take the panhandle on the stove and you turn it out. [00:01:56] Speaker A: Listen, whether or not you're from Florida is irrelevant. I think the most important thing here is. Wait, the panhandle's in Michigan? Fuck. That was a bad joke. Hey, cut that. [00:02:06] Speaker B: Not. [00:02:07] Speaker A: Jeff. Cut that. [00:02:07] Speaker B: Relevant, not good, not funny. You know, tracks. [00:02:12] Speaker A: Honestly, that's the last review that we got on this podcast. Not relevant, not interesting, not funny. [00:02:19] Speaker B: Thanks, mom. [00:02:20] Speaker A: Welcome to tales from the tabletop. I'm so happy to be here. I. Honestly, Kayla, I'm glad you haven't kicked me off the podcast yet. I know I talked about last episode, how I could replace you very easily with AI, but, you know, it's a two way street. Easily done to me. [00:02:37] Speaker B: I think you would have an easier time replacing me just because I do not know how to edit the podcast. [00:02:43] Speaker A: It's okay. Just ask chat GPT how to replace Jeff on podcast. [00:02:49] Speaker B: Thank you. So I'll use your voice through chat GBT. I will have chat GBT write my episodes. We could have fake stories written by chat GBT, and then. [00:03:00] Speaker A: Oh, my gosh. [00:03:00] Speaker B: Oh, my God. That's an untapped market right there, Kayla. [00:03:03] Speaker A: You just inspired me for this episode. [00:03:06] Speaker B: Oh, no. [00:03:07] Speaker A: Right. Hold on. I'm entering in the chat GP now, what's it say? Let me, let me go ahead and. Go ahead. Know what? This is Jeff's new segment of I didn't find a story, so Chet GPT will write me one. [00:03:21] Speaker B: That's crazy. We should not be known as the AI podcast. [00:03:26] Speaker A: Look, I hate AI. We talked about how bad it was on the podcast. Probably at some point, but probably, you know, if you want to write professional emails when you're applying to a job, but don't feel like you want to write a professional email, go ahead and just ask. [00:03:39] Speaker B: Chachi Pt. Certain things are good for chat GBT, but being dishonest and tricking people for entertainment, like, just write your own story at that point, I think it would be ten times funnier to take a story that was written by a person, put it into Google translate, and then translate it back into English and see how fucked up it sounds. [00:04:01] Speaker A: That'd be crazy. I love that. Also, I wrote write me a d and d horror story, and it's called the Whispers of hollow Shade. I don't think it knew what I meant, but I have an idea for my next campaign. [00:04:14] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Now I'll know why it's so shitty. And it's not just your normal brand of shitty. [00:04:20] Speaker A: Wow, thanks. You want me to read it to you? [00:04:22] Speaker B: Yeah, hit me with it. [00:04:23] Speaker A: Just a setting. [00:04:23] Speaker B: Give me a little something. [00:04:24] Speaker A: I'll just give you the setting. I won't give you the full like. [00:04:27] Speaker B: Cause I'm gonna be playing it in a few months. [00:04:29] Speaker A: Exactly. So when you forget about it, honestly, I'll wait till you forget about it. And then you realize. Wait. Whispers of Hollow shade in the heart of the dense and gloomy mistwood forest lives the forsaken village of Hollowshade. Once a thriving settlement, it is now a ghost town, its homes and streets shrouded in an eerie fog that seems to whisper malevolent secrets to those who venture near. The village's only remaining feature is the dilapidated chapel at its center, its steeple twisted and broken and its bells silent for years. Thats actually, I wrote that. I'm gonna take it back. Chanchipe did not write it. I wrote that. That was so good. [00:05:10] Speaker B: You know what? I actually just wrote that. [00:05:12] Speaker A: So I, you know, in the middle of me telling a story, telling my panhandle joke, and bitching about AI, I. [00:05:21] Speaker B: Wrote a book like genius in the night. [00:05:24] Speaker A: You can find [email protected]. [00:05:28] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:05:29] Speaker A: Oh. Tales from the tabletoppodmail. [00:05:31] Speaker B: Yes, thank you. I think I made that mistake last episode. So we'll fix that. Future us. It's fixed, but. [00:05:38] Speaker A: So how have we been in the world of D and D? Are we doing okay? Like, I need to get. This is what I ask you guys after I finish every session. Like, what's the vibe, Kayla? What's the vibe right now in the world of D and D? [00:05:50] Speaker B: Do you want me to tell people how good of a job you're doing? [00:05:54] Speaker A: No, I want you to tell me how great the world of d and d is right now, thanks to Hasbro and wizards of the coast trying to make money off of people. Let's talk about how great d and D will. [00:06:05] Speaker B: I will. [00:06:06] Speaker A: Is it d and D 2024? [00:06:07] Speaker B: I think so. Something fucking dumb like that. All I know is my d and D beyond account will be getting nuked. I will no longer be paying for premium because they're gonna be forcing us on to. I know. Big shock, everybody. I just exposed myself. I pay for premium because I like to have a bunch of different shit and, like, a bajillion hypothetical characters made in my D and D beyond. Sue me, shoot me, hit me with a rock. I don't care. Keep booing. I'm right. [00:06:34] Speaker A: Is it not available anywhere other than d and d beyond right now? [00:06:37] Speaker B: What do you mean? [00:06:38] Speaker A: The 2024? Like, can you buy the book? [00:06:41] Speaker B: I have no idea. I don't buy physical copies of books. [00:06:45] Speaker A: Hold on. I'm looking right now. D and D 2024 books. Core rule books. Oh, you can buy them. $148. [00:06:54] Speaker B: Aren't they, are they done with it? [00:06:56] Speaker A: No, it'll be released in February 18, 2025. [00:06:59] Speaker B: So they're still working on it? I don't know. I don't trust them ever since I found out they were used AI art for their, like, giants book. [00:07:06] Speaker A: So can you imagine someone using AI for, like, an unoriginal story that, you know, they can't come up with anything and they just have to ask Chachi pt to give them a d and d horror story. Can you imagine that? [00:07:19] Speaker B: I can't even fathom who would do something like that, Jeff? [00:07:27] Speaker A: I don't know. But for real, though, this is pretty good. I actually like this. Thanks, chatgpt. [00:07:30] Speaker B: Thanks, chadgpt. [00:07:32] Speaker A: And it has an epilogue. It has the full thing. [00:07:35] Speaker B: I know. I have used it to help with some puzzles because it's actually pretty good at helping come up with puzzles. [00:07:41] Speaker A: Oh, not just the same four puzzles that are in every D and D campaign. [00:07:45] Speaker B: Yeah, something a little bit different. But of course, I don't ever just use what Chachi bt wrote, I like, yeah. [00:07:52] Speaker A: Who would do that? It's like using. I think we're very strictly not against adventure paths, but we do not have the attention span for an adventure path because it's just. I don't know. I don't like having other shit written for me. I can steal little ideas here and there. Like, if I listen to something and I'm just like, oh, that's really cool. [00:08:12] Speaker B: I love stealing. [00:08:13] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, I stole straight from fucking adventure zone where my brother Philo, he confessed. Get him, Pinocchio. Yeah, but I was doing, like, the little one shot that I'm doing at work. Cause we have so much downtime. And they found a character by the name of my boss because he has a big nose and his nose is sticking out of the thing. And he was in there for war crimes. And, you know, I definitely stole the idea of it being a puppethe with a long nose. Not Pinocchio, but something very similar. [00:08:44] Speaker B: I cannot follow a word you said. [00:08:46] Speaker A: That's okay. Honestly, no one can. [00:08:49] Speaker B: All right, my turn. All right, so starting off with a story. Good. Classic dungeons and dragons horror story. I feel like this one, not from chat. [00:08:57] Speaker A: GPT. [00:08:58] Speaker B: Not from chat. GPT. This one is written by a human, probably. It's six years old, so I don't think it was accessible back then. AI probably existed in some form, but it was not the monster it is today. [00:09:11] Speaker A: All right, Kayla, let's go back to 2018. You're back there. You're going through the aisles of target. No one's wearing masks. Like, everyone's just pulling hands, skipping around. You're in college. [00:09:23] Speaker B: My sophomore year. [00:09:24] Speaker A: What was I doing six years ago? I was also in college. Oh, I wasn't. Who am I lying to? Okay, let's put ourselves. Are you there, Kayla? [00:09:31] Speaker B: Are you immersed in the world of 2018? Dekalb. [00:09:34] Speaker A: Dekalb? [00:09:35] Speaker B: DeKalb, Illinois. [00:09:36] Speaker A: What in the fucking huckleberry thin bullshit? [00:09:40] Speaker B: That's where I went to college. Ni you huskies, baby. Okay, anyway, you're breaking my immersion. [00:09:45] Speaker A: Okay, we're back, we're back, we're back. [00:09:47] Speaker B: Mm hmm. Nobody's wearing a mask. I'm wearing flip flops that are falling apart. [00:09:52] Speaker A: Nobody's wearing white after tomorrow, stupid. I found out before the podcast that you can't wear white after Labor Day or some shit. I don't know why, but I can't wait to dress up the day after Labor Day with a white shirt. [00:10:05] Speaker B: Nobody actually follows that rule. It's just like a dumb little thing. [00:10:09] Speaker A: That people say, welcome to 2020, 2018. We're back, we're back. [00:10:13] Speaker B: Okay. We're back, we're back. I have never met Jeff. I'm happier for it, honestly. [00:10:19] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:10:22] Speaker B: All right. So this was posted by Fairy Silveon. It's on rpg horror stories. It was posted six years ago, before Jeff was even alive to me. [00:10:32] Speaker A: I only existed when you met me, like nothing before. [00:10:36] Speaker B: Nothing exists unless I am actively perceiving it, because I am. Oh, God. [00:10:40] Speaker A: Okay, well, there you go. Call to Kayla. That's one more for the fucking banks. [00:10:44] Speaker B: Check, check. [00:10:46] Speaker A: We are checking one more lore builder they come from. They went to Dkuth Isle, Illinois or some shit. Whatever they said. [00:10:54] Speaker B: What the fuck? [00:10:55] Speaker A: Go huskies. [00:10:56] Speaker B: Go huskies. That's gonna be the title of the episode. Just go huskies. DM gives my character away to the girl he likes because she wanted it. [00:11:06] Speaker A: Wow. No. What? [00:11:08] Speaker B: Okay. The whole tomatoes. [00:11:11] Speaker A: Was that a good reaction? [00:11:12] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Give me another gift. I could do another gas. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That was so good. Oh, my God. I was not expecting that. I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. My mic is peeking out so bad. I'm so sorry. Editing. This is gonna be such a nightmare. [00:11:37] Speaker A: I can't wait. [00:11:43] Speaker B: God damn it. That was so stupid. It's 2018, Jeff, coming into existence the second I meet him. Oh, Jesus. All right, be serious. [00:11:55] Speaker A: I'm serious. This is a serious podcast. No jokes. [00:11:58] Speaker B: It's a very serious podcast if you. [00:12:00] Speaker A: Look at any of the reviews. Yeah, we are not funny. Unoriginal, bad. [00:12:04] Speaker B: Ugly. Talks too much. [00:12:06] Speaker A: How dare they? Honestly, bro, they talk way too much on this podcast. [00:12:12] Speaker B: You know what? Honestly, I agree with them. I think I should shut the fuck up occasionally. Five stars. All right, I'm new here, so this was from a few years ago when I was at university. I played with a group of people for about a year when the incident happened, we had a weekly meetup and a really strong group that was really into the game, and it was a great way to forget about the uni work that felt absolutely crushing. [00:12:40] Speaker A: Wow. That was like improv. I'm looking at the story, I'm like, that's not what was written. Kayla Williams, improv queen. [00:12:47] Speaker B: Sometimes I forget. I don't read ahead and I fuck up the sentence, but I decide to just keep talking. That's professionalism. [00:12:56] Speaker A: Nice. [00:12:56] Speaker B: You should try it sometime. [00:12:58] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:12:58] Speaker B: One day, I got a text from our DM asking me if I could create a new character for a one shot that he wanted to run for his. Crushed. We'd be running the one shot around level two to three. And he wanted to give said girl an easy time and not have to explain all the relationships our old characters had created over the years of playing. I agreed. [00:13:19] Speaker A: No, I'm thinking based on the title. Okay, this doesn't make any fucking sense, but go on, sir. Or mad. [00:13:25] Speaker B: Oh, just wait. [00:13:26] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:13:26] Speaker B: Just wait. [00:13:27] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. [00:13:28] Speaker B: I agreed that would be best for someone who was completely ignorant of how D and D worked. He only asked that the character not be a half elf rogue. So I spent an hour or two making a huge human cleric and waited for our session. [00:13:40] Speaker A: No. Did they make. They're like, hey, there's this girl I want to play with us. Can they play tank? Can they play healer? Can they please be a healer? It's like everyone trying to play games with girls, and they're like, you guys are support. Thanks. [00:13:53] Speaker B: Thanks. [00:13:54] Speaker A: Even in D and D, your support. Thank you. Go play Leona. [00:13:59] Speaker B: Leona is not even like. She smacks, bro. [00:14:03] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:14:04] Speaker B: All right. Good talk. [00:14:05] Speaker A: I don't know anything about league. That's why it said the first date. What the fuck did you say? You were lucky that I even got a name, right? That's where you're at. [00:14:13] Speaker B: You're lucky you even got a support. You named a support. Great job, Jeff. [00:14:16] Speaker A: Nice. [00:14:17] Speaker B: Claps. Claps, everybody. Round of applause. Thank you, editing, Jeff. [00:14:22] Speaker A: You're welcome. Thank you. [00:14:24] Speaker B: 2018 Jeff Session starts as normal. DM explains how the game works to the girl, and the rest of us are chiming in about different rules and such. Then he asks us to go around and give a description of our characters. We all go and do that until the girl. [00:14:38] Speaker A: Hmm. I like the idea that it's a bunch of guys just like, hey, I'm gonna let you finish, but this is actually. I'm gonna chime in and mansplain as well. I wanna get a piece of this. [00:14:49] Speaker B: I don't. [00:14:50] Speaker A: It's like, hey, this is a D 20. Yeah. In a D 20, it's 20 sides, motherfucker. Shut your mouth and let me explain the game. [00:14:58] Speaker B: Jeff is ready to. [00:15:00] Speaker A: I am ready to jump down the throat of all of these men. [00:15:04] Speaker B: I don't think. I don't even know what op identifies as. [00:15:07] Speaker A: Yeah, that's all I'm saying. [00:15:08] Speaker B: I always assumed op was a girl. [00:15:10] Speaker A: Oh, maybe that's on the other hand. Okay, you know what? That changes my honestly, 2018 Jeff 2018 challenge channel. My 2018 Jeff. [00:15:16] Speaker B: Go, Jeff. I know you think that women can't be writers, but how about you use your imagination a little bit, okay? [00:15:23] Speaker A: Women can complain. On Reddit, too. [00:15:25] Speaker B: Impossible not. [00:15:27] Speaker A: Women are smarter than that. Women don't go to Reddit to complain. [00:15:30] Speaker B: That's why we're on this podcast together. She starts to give her description, and it was my character. Not just the actor outline of a half elf rogue, but her backstory, physicality, and even her name. I shrugged it off as she wasn't sure of how to play, and he gave her an already pre made character. I was pissed, but gave my DM the benefit of the doubt. We played and it was fun. She enjoyed it and wanted to join us next time. We all agreed she'd join our group for the tentative future. Next week rolled around and I brought my half elf rogue stuff because I was under the assumption I would be going back to the character I created. It wasn't until my DM saw my character sheet that it all went to heck. No, it all went to heck. [00:16:11] Speaker A: It all went to heck. [00:16:13] Speaker B: He double house. [00:16:14] Speaker A: Yeah, you can definitely tell they're new here. Cause they haven't sworn once. [00:16:17] Speaker B: That's true. [00:16:18] Speaker A: I'm new here. [00:16:19] Speaker B: I haven't even accidentally slipped in a fuck word. [00:16:22] Speaker A: I haven't slipped in a fuck word. [00:16:24] Speaker B: Yeah, I even said the fuck word, like, once. [00:16:26] Speaker A: That's some fucking husky graduate energy right there. [00:16:29] Speaker B: Oh, my God. I'm never. [00:16:31] Speaker A: I never even put in a fuck word. Yon channel. [00:16:34] Speaker B: No, I'm Sarah Palin now. [00:16:37] Speaker A: Huh? Who? [00:16:38] Speaker B: Huh? Who? Jesus Christ. DM. Why are you playing new girl's character? Me? Um. What? This is my character, the one I created. DM. No, I gave that character to her. She liked it, and I wanted her to have it. Me. Wait, what? We didn't agree to that. And even if I asked you, I'd have said no because I created her. [00:17:04] Speaker A: That's fucking amazing. Just the idea of. All right, character. Character swap. What? Yeah, I said it at the first session. If you weren't interrupting me with your mansplaining, you would have heard it if you were actually listening. Everyone swaps characters every session and only actually whatever character she wants. [00:17:21] Speaker B: She can actually have whatever she wants. Honestly, how she should. Queen. Queen DM. You can't play that character anymore. Fairy Sylveon. That's new girl's character. This is my game. And what I say goes. I love that phrase. The DM. What I say goes. You have to listen to me. [00:17:44] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, all DM's are secretly just trying to rule the world and have some version of narcissistic complexity disorder. I don't know. [00:17:55] Speaker B: Join our cult. [00:17:56] Speaker A: No, don't join the cult. I can't. I can't join 2018. Kayla's cult. That's questionable. [00:18:02] Speaker B: Join 2024 Kayla's cult cult. [00:18:05] Speaker A: A Kaila cult of Kyla. [00:18:07] Speaker B: Now, while all this is going down and the rest of the players are just staring at us in confusion, the DM has never acted like this before, and he was a really good DM and was always super fair about everything. We argued for a little while until I and the rest of the players got fed up and left. DM just did not understand why you don't just give away a character that someone has spent a year creating and playing with. We all later found out that the girl didn't show up to the new session and the DM blamed us. A few weeks later, he texted all of us asking why we weren't showing up to our regular sessions anymore. We didn't reply. [00:18:42] Speaker A: Nice. Nice. I think when you're playing D and D, it's so hard as a DM not to just focus on one person. Like, that's especially. And if he's not a new DM, I guess there's no excuse. But it is very obvious to players when you're focusing on just one character. I mean, yeah, because you're not fucking playing for 4 hours. But still, it's like when the care. When the whole campaign's built around one character and one person's interests, it's just, come on, bro. This is jazz. This is improv. Like, Kayla reading that story messed up, changed a few words around. [00:19:16] Speaker B: That's crazy that you would out me like that. [00:19:17] Speaker A: DND is improv. It's just like that. [00:19:20] Speaker B: Just because you have a crush on this girl doesn't mean you should yank the other player's character away from them. They've spent a year playing that character. What were they supposed to do? Just fucking nothing. [00:19:30] Speaker A: They put that character away. [00:19:31] Speaker B: That turns out not even ask them about it. [00:19:34] Speaker A: Like, what is. What's your character's name? Yeah, no, I'm changing that name too. Just kidding. No creative control in this game, man. Fuck that, dude. Fuck that DM. It's always a DM. I mean, DM's have so much power and then seeing DM's just completely fuck it up and ruin the game for everyone is so common. It's just, ugh, it's depressing. [00:19:56] Speaker B: Yeah, and totally shocking that him giving his character to the new girl didn't immediately get the DM laidden. [00:20:04] Speaker A: That's wild. Like, she didn't even show up. [00:20:06] Speaker B: She didn't like, fall into his arms, swooning about it. [00:20:10] Speaker A: I mean, honestly, your disregard for your. [00:20:13] Speaker B: Longtime friends just fills me with euphoria. [00:20:16] Speaker A: I love when you ignore everything your friends created and decide to make something just for me. That's not creepy at all. Yeah, isolate me in front of a group of six other people. Thank you. [00:20:26] Speaker B: Put me on a pedestal and treat me like an object. Oh, my God. [00:20:31] Speaker A: Damn 2018. Kayla's got some fucking demonstration. [00:20:37] Speaker B: What the fuck? [00:20:40] Speaker A: That's your fucking snoop Dogg remix? Goddamn swee. What? [00:20:46] Speaker B: Okay, there's a snoo. [00:20:49] Speaker A: Oh, God damn it. Get the fuck out of here. [00:20:55] Speaker B: Hey, jev. Welcome back to the castle. [00:20:57] Speaker A: Oh, great. [00:20:58] Speaker B: Step on in. [00:20:58] Speaker A: Where am I? I didn't know there was a castle. There wasn't a castle last time. I guess you've gotten the funding that you needed. [00:21:04] Speaker B: Yeah, people really liked the last time I did Kayla's cauldron. So we have a tower now. How is the 40 flights of stairs? [00:21:11] Speaker A: Honestly, out of breath, just like normal. But this time it's because of stairs. [00:21:15] Speaker B: Oh, good, good. You know, we're working on getting an elevator in so that it's accessible, but right now we just have a pulley system out the window, and I've got this girl here with really long hair. [00:21:26] Speaker A: I couldn't use the police system. [00:21:28] Speaker B: No, you're not disabled physically. [00:21:30] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:21:30] Speaker B: Okay, well, apprentices have to use the stairs until you can learn a levitation spell. [00:21:36] Speaker A: Ugh. Please tell me one of these spells you have in your cauldron is a levitation spell. [00:21:40] Speaker B: Nope. It is much worse and more mediocre than that. [00:21:44] Speaker A: Yay. Thank you. I'm so glad. [00:21:46] Speaker B: Welcome, everybody, to Kayla's cauldron, a game where I give Jeff spells and describe them to him. It's a bunch of homebrew spells that me and my friends have come up with. We also take user suggestions, and Jeff has to give me what he thinks the spell components would be so that we can make the together. [00:22:03] Speaker A: It is great because we never once used spell components in our campaigns. And you're like, hey, by the way, remember spell components? I'm like, someone's got to use spell. [00:22:11] Speaker B: Components, and it might as well be in this fun, fun game. [00:22:14] Speaker A: I gotta dig my fucking. I gotta, like, dig into my brain to remember what spell components are. [00:22:19] Speaker B: I already have spell components in mind for the spells that I'm going to be giving Jeff, but it's up to him to see if we're on the same weight. [00:22:26] Speaker A: But I'm always funnier, so. [00:22:29] Speaker B: Yeah. So anyway, my first spell that I have to offer you, Jeff, is one. That's called cat rations. [00:22:37] Speaker A: Oh. Oh, that's good. I like that. Is it four cats or are there four cats? [00:22:44] Speaker B: You conjure a small cat who crawls into your lap for three rounds of combat or 1 minute of out of combat time, it makes you spectral biscuits. You get three biscuits per summons. Each is equal to a potion of greater restoration. [00:22:59] Speaker A: Yo, that's fucking great. And I gotta figure out what the components are. [00:23:02] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:23:03] Speaker A: All right. Hair of the. That's a great sacred beast from the 2018 husky town of Duluth, Illinois, or whatever it was. The second, I keep getting further and. [00:23:16] Speaker B: Further away from it every single time. [00:23:19] Speaker A: The second are nail shavings. A cat clawed something and its nail just popped out as they do. So you get one of those. [00:23:29] Speaker B: Yeah. That's something normal that happens. [00:23:31] Speaker A: Yep. You don't find disrepair. Oh. I mean, you are a new cat. [00:23:34] Speaker B: Owner, so I do. That's why this first one is cat themed. That's fair, because I have a new cat. [00:23:41] Speaker A: Oh, by the way, they have a new cat. It's fucking cute as hell. Winnie is adorable. [00:23:45] Speaker B: She's so cute. She's a little black cat. And I named her Winnie after Hocus Pocus. [00:23:50] Speaker A: Oh, that sucks. I hate it now, but. [00:23:53] Speaker B: What? [00:23:53] Speaker A: I'm kidding. Hocus pocus. [00:23:54] Speaker B: Just say you hate women. [00:23:56] Speaker A: Hocus pocus is a solid four. [00:23:58] Speaker B: What? [00:23:59] Speaker A: Huh? There are better Halloween. There are better Halloween. Way better. Even Halloween's better. Jamie Lee Curtis dog. [00:24:07] Speaker B: Name one. [00:24:08] Speaker A: I did Halloween. [00:24:09] Speaker B: That's not a horror movie. [00:24:11] Speaker A: I said Halloween movies. [00:24:13] Speaker B: Yeah, but the whole point is it's not like a horror movie. It's like dark fantasy. [00:24:17] Speaker A: So hair from a cat in the loose. [00:24:19] Speaker B: I'm gonna actually fight you on this one. I'm gonna show up to your fucking house. [00:24:24] Speaker A: Uh, cats like shedded claw and a whisker. And then also, like, some dried bread from panera. Like the bread that's gone bad after a day or two. [00:24:36] Speaker B: Like a crouton. [00:24:37] Speaker A: No, no, I'm talking like baguette. Like hard as fuck. Knock someone out. Lightsaber in lightsaber fight in the back of a panera. Bread kind of bread. [00:24:45] Speaker B: Don't. [00:24:45] Speaker A: I didn't do that or anything. That's fine. Don't worry about it. Was I right? How close was I? [00:24:49] Speaker B: So I had listed. I was thinking of more things of like summoning the spectral cat to you in the first place. Okay, so I have a fantasy churro stick. [00:25:00] Speaker A: What is fantasy churro made of? [00:25:03] Speaker B: Fantasy. [00:25:04] Speaker A: All right. Fantasy whimsy. And magic. [00:25:07] Speaker B: I hear you call my name. For those of you who may not know what, a churro stick it is a treat for cats. That's like a little cat gogurt. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Yeah, kitty gogurt. And it does not taste like a gogurt. [00:25:23] Speaker B: Guys don't eat it. It does not taste like a gogurt. But cats love that shit because it is stinky and it is soupy, and it appeals to all of their kitty wants and needs. [00:25:33] Speaker A: And if you want to trim their claws, that's definitely the thing to give them, to distract them while you're holding them up and trimming their claws. [00:25:39] Speaker B: That's how I tricked my cat into coming inside. She was an outside, like, just running around feral cat. And I had a little churro stick, and I coaxed her inside. [00:25:48] Speaker A: That's most cat stories, Kayla, especially in Duluth, Wisconsin, or wherever you went. [00:25:54] Speaker B: It keeps getting worse, Jeff. It keeps getting so much worse. [00:25:57] Speaker A: All right, what's the second one? [00:25:58] Speaker B: The verbal component. So you were close, but I have it listed as a verbal component of. [00:26:04] Speaker A: Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [00:26:07] Speaker B: So you gather your ingredients and you just go. And then the cat appears. [00:26:12] Speaker A: So. [00:26:13] Speaker B: And then warm milk. [00:26:14] Speaker A: So far. So far, you're just giving me normal cat things. You just get a churro cats. I guarantee you walk outside with a chew room and go. And cats will come out from the, like, real life cats. Not fucking spectral cats. [00:26:27] Speaker B: Yeah, fantasy cats. Spectral cats, real life cats, they all want the same thing. Warm milk. [00:26:33] Speaker A: What if it accidentally gets a normal cat? Like, does that. Does the spell not work? [00:26:37] Speaker B: Then there's no losers here. Then you just have two cats. [00:26:40] Speaker A: So I get a spectral and a normal one. [00:26:43] Speaker B: It depends. [00:26:44] Speaker A: Is the spectral guaranteed? [00:26:45] Speaker B: The cat chooses you. Okay, the spectral is guaranteed. If you're casting the spell because there is magic infused with it, you're basically using it to transcend worlds and give the. [00:26:58] Speaker A: So you're going into the ethereal plane and summoning a cat and bringing it back with you. [00:27:02] Speaker B: You're just kind of calling at the edge, you know, at the edge of. [00:27:06] Speaker A: Fucking existence at the edge of it. It'd be fucking terrifying if, like, I. Sometimes it has a little bit of flavor where it's not always a cat, but it does the same thing. [00:27:15] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. You roll a d 100 and on, like, a very specific number. It's not a cat. [00:27:21] Speaker A: Oh, look, an aboleth. Why are there tentacles coming out of its mouth? [00:27:24] Speaker B: Okay, and why is it making me biscuits? [00:27:26] Speaker A: Why is it still biscuits? What is happening? [00:27:29] Speaker B: Why is it working? All right, are you ready for the next spell? [00:27:33] Speaker A: I am ready for the spell. I had to go up and down the flight of stairs to gather those ingredients, and I. Boy, are my legs tired. [00:27:40] Speaker B: Yeah. I haven't left this tower in three days, dog. [00:27:43] Speaker A: There's so much going on outside. I mean, tomorrow's Labor Day. You have to get out of the castle and not work. Come on, that's crazy. That's what the union workers fought for. [00:27:54] Speaker B: I'll die in this castle. Go get me some more warm milk and a fantasy chew room. [00:27:59] Speaker A: Okay, I got them here. Boom. Plopped them. That's not a cat. What's the next? [00:28:03] Speaker B: Yeah, we're just gonna. We're just gonna close that portal. Next spell, it's called. You're not my real dad. [00:28:09] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:28:10] Speaker B: Targeted creature must make a wisdom saving throw on a fail. They will believe that you are their child. They will protect you as if you were their own. Unless they pass a new saved throw or are harmed by you or a member of your party. [00:28:24] Speaker A: This has dimension 20, season one fantasy high written all over it, and I'm here for it. I will not explain that reference. I don't have to explain anything. So is that the spell and everything? Okay, yeah, that's a spell. 2018 Jeff, is one of the components, because just like 2024 Jeff, he didn't have a dad. [00:28:46] Speaker B: Oh, classic. [00:28:47] Speaker A: So classic. Just go grab 2018, Jeff, because 2018 is the year of the year. The beast, as they say. [00:28:56] Speaker B: Woof, woof, woof, woof. [00:28:57] Speaker A: Bow wow, huskies forever. The second component, I guess the visual component will be, hey, I need to go get a pack of cigarettes. A boop. You laugh. I was hoping a gallon of milk. You laugh. I gotta go get a gallon of milk and a pack of cigarettes. [00:29:17] Speaker B: My face hurts from laughing so much this episode. [00:29:20] Speaker A: Like, I've got tension in my forehead. I can get laughter from a different part of the podcast. That's the best thing about being laughed. [00:29:26] Speaker B: For me, laughing at one of my own jokes. [00:29:28] Speaker A: You won't laugh at anyone else's jokes. You'll laugh at your own. [00:29:31] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. [00:29:33] Speaker A: Was that right? [00:29:34] Speaker B: So, for me, I didn't go as abstract as you did. [00:29:40] Speaker A: Okay, see, it's magic and whimsy and spells. [00:29:43] Speaker B: So, of course, there's the verbal component because I've been really into those recently. You have to yell, you're not my real dad. You must be wearing a my chemical romance t shirt and have a shitty attitude. [00:29:56] Speaker A: Yeah, teenagers scare me too, dude. We get it. Everyone gets it. [00:30:00] Speaker B: The older I get, the more I understand. [00:30:02] Speaker A: Yeah. Like, if a pack of roving teenagers approached you on the street versus a pack of, like, a female your age, what are you more terrified of? [00:30:12] Speaker B: Everybody. That's why I haven't left the tower, Jeff. [00:30:15] Speaker A: But listen, there's more exciting things out in the world. Like, you know, that's all I got. [00:30:22] Speaker B: That's why I have an apprentice, so I don't have to go outside. [00:30:24] Speaker A: So my chemical romance t shirt is a part of it, or just, like, the idea of. You have. You need to shout. That's the verbal component, is you're not my father. While wearing a my chemical romance t shirt. And just have that on you at all times. [00:30:37] Speaker B: And you have to have a shitty attitude with it, too. That's important. [00:30:41] Speaker A: All right? [00:30:42] Speaker B: The whole time they protect you, you have to go, ugh. You're embarrassing me. Whatever. [00:30:48] Speaker A: You know what's embarrassing, ma? You just keep making stupid fucking jokes like that, trying to make them laugh. [00:30:54] Speaker B: Good one, Jeff. [00:30:55] Speaker A: I finished the milk. Well, you explained the spell to me. Thank you. It was very good. [00:31:00] Speaker B: Like, all of it. [00:31:00] Speaker A: Yeah, the whole thing. [00:31:02] Speaker B: Oh, my. That was. That was fantasy milk. That was for. Oh, my God. [00:31:07] Speaker A: I was channeling my inner Luke Skywalker. [00:31:09] Speaker B: Jeff, you have to go. Like, that was. Something bad is going to happen to you. Oh, God. [00:31:14] Speaker A: I don't feel good. Can I use your police system or do I got to walk down 40 flights of stairs? [00:31:18] Speaker B: Just jump out the window? Actually, you have about 30 seconds before you detonate. Wait, what? [00:31:28] Speaker A: I tried to pull away, but the blanket didn't let me. The blanket's like, calm down. You're not getting that expressive on the podcast. [00:31:35] Speaker B: I have one more spell, but I think that's. We took enough time on those. [00:31:40] Speaker A: No, one more. One more. Let's hear it. I can do speed round. Speed round. No more jokes. Just go. [00:31:46] Speaker B: All right, Jeff, welcome back. [00:31:48] Speaker A: I'm back. I'm back. I used the bathroom. It was great. I'm lactose intolerant. I shouldn't have drank that milk. All right, give me the next spell. [00:31:57] Speaker B: Paul Emorph. [00:31:59] Speaker A: Paul Emorph. [00:32:01] Speaker B: Paul Emorf. [00:32:02] Speaker A: Okay. [00:32:03] Speaker B: Transform a target creature into a discord kitten. [00:32:07] Speaker A: What? [00:32:07] Speaker B: It can only be used by a level five or higher discord moderator. [00:32:13] Speaker A: What? [00:32:14] Speaker B: Yeah, that's it. [00:32:15] Speaker A: So the verbal component is opening your mouth and adding the sound effect for when people join calls. [00:32:20] Speaker B: Like, that's pretty good, right? [00:32:22] Speaker A: That's the verb. Let's both do one. One more, just so we could see who's better again. [00:32:26] Speaker B: Yeah, you do it. You do it first. That was bad. That's real bad. [00:32:29] Speaker A: Fuck you do your son. Honestly. I heard better. The spell isn't gonna work. This spell isn't gonna work. [00:32:36] Speaker B: It's a hard spell. That's why you have to be a level five or higher moderator. [00:32:40] Speaker A: Discord. Kitten kayla. What are we talking about? I don't even know what the fuck that is. [00:32:47] Speaker B: Been disrespecting me recently. Wait, is that what a worry, princess? Is that what a. Daddy knows how to put you in your place? [00:32:54] Speaker A: Is that a discord, kitten Kayla? Is that what that is? [00:32:59] Speaker B: Pwincess? No, that's the discord. [00:33:02] Speaker A: Monica Hedgehog. Princess. [00:33:06] Speaker B: Princess. Don't worry, my kittens. Daddy is here to take care of you. [00:33:10] Speaker A: No. [00:33:11] Speaker B: I know how you guys get spicy when Daddy does not give you attention. Don't you worry, kitten. Daddy will take good care of. [00:33:20] Speaker A: I gotta edit all of this. [00:33:22] Speaker B: Only if you behave. [00:33:24] Speaker A: This is not consumable content and you've. [00:33:28] Speaker B: Oh, it is. No. Everybody's gonna love it. Just keep the whole thing. [00:33:33] Speaker A: Just keep it all in. All right. [00:33:35] Speaker B: You're not hip and young to what the kids like. [00:33:38] Speaker A: I don't know what kids like. [00:33:40] Speaker B: The stinger at the end of the episode is gonna be princess. No, you don't do it right. [00:33:48] Speaker A: I know I don't. I don't want to. [00:33:49] Speaker B: Princess. [00:33:50] Speaker A: I don't think I want to. [00:33:52] Speaker B: It's with a w. Princess. [00:33:54] Speaker A: Oh, boy. [00:33:56] Speaker B: Anyway, what's your spell components? [00:33:57] Speaker A: I said the discord. [00:33:58] Speaker B: Obviously, you're not a level five moderator. [00:34:00] Speaker A: So you can't discord sound effects and discord sound effects. We said this is going to be fast. The second one is going to be. So that's a. Ooh. Kitten. Princess guy. So that's what a kitten is. A gtarp server to log into. That's gonna be the physical component. [00:34:18] Speaker B: Very good. [00:34:19] Speaker A: Was that really. [00:34:19] Speaker B: I like those components. My personal components would be code Red Mountain Dew. [00:34:26] Speaker A: Okay. [00:34:27] Speaker B: Amal Katana. [00:34:28] Speaker A: Oh, no. [00:34:29] Speaker B: And respect for women. [00:34:31] Speaker A: That's. That's wild. [00:34:34] Speaker B: I'm a nice guy, princess. Nice guys finish west. [00:34:38] Speaker A: Hey, Kayla, this spell won't stop working. It keeps. It keeps going off. I have so much respect for women, it's ridiculous. [00:34:47] Speaker B: Hop in the pot. [00:34:48] Speaker A: Fuck. I was going to do a longer one, but I just realized where we are at on recording time, and I'm like, let's not do this long when I have plans. So I'm gonna do a short one with a series of Star wars horror stories. This is just a bunch of them. I'm only gonna maybe do one or two, but Star Wars RPG, Kayla, if you didn't know. Very fun, very interesting, very boring. I don't like the system, so how. [00:35:21] Speaker B: Can it be very fun and interesting. [00:35:23] Speaker A: But very boring if you take a star? Okay, hey, let me explain. Let me. Let me figure it out. I'm casting the second spell. [00:35:30] Speaker B: Calm down. [00:35:31] Speaker A: So I'm mansplaining real quick. Star wars, if you. The setting of Star wars. Incredible. The system of Star wars that they've come up with. Not that good. [00:35:41] Speaker B: Not that good. [00:35:42] Speaker A: Not that good at all. So if you run fate into a Star wars setting. Beautiful. Anyway, so this is by. [00:35:49] Speaker B: I think you're biased. You just like Star wars. [00:35:51] Speaker A: Yeah, I am. [00:35:51] Speaker B: Like, a lot. [00:35:52] Speaker A: Yeah, I am. So this was three months ago when we were in the depths of creating the cult of Kayla. This episode, this. This Reddit user was creating this story and informing us of their terrible time or a great time. I haven't read this one yet. I just kind of picked it, and it's been a long time. Star wars horror Story collection by curious Wombat 42. I would love to play a Star Wars RPG for once that doesn't fall apart before session one or turns into a small scale horror story. However, this has yet to happen. Here are some snippets. I like that they've broken down sections by, like, subtitles, and they're really fucking good. [00:36:31] Speaker B: Like, here's the play by play. [00:36:32] Speaker A: Hypocrisy is strong with you. Join the game of Edge of the Empire focused around the outer rim in the original trilogy timeline. Kayla, you keep it up. [00:36:41] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:36:41] Speaker A: You know what that is? Who's the main force in the original trilogy timeline? Who's the bad guy? [00:36:48] Speaker B: Yoda. Next question. [00:36:50] Speaker A: God, every neckbeard with a lightsaber on their wall. Cringe at those. [00:36:57] Speaker B: I'm gonna make Jeff bustle. [00:36:59] Speaker A: I just fucking. I almost physically gagged. [00:37:02] Speaker B: Oh, you probably don't want to hear my favorite character then. [00:37:05] Speaker A: Is it Anakin? Because Anakin's a great character. [00:37:08] Speaker B: It's Jar Jar Binks. [00:37:09] Speaker A: I hate you. Podcast over. Thanks for listening, guys. Basically, Wild West RP in space, two players refuse to tell the rest of the group what they are playing before the game. Weird, but okay. Okay. Then the first session begins. Both of them present their characters. Both are lightsaber wielding Mandalorians. Kayla, that's a. That's a certain race in Star wars that went to war with the Jedi and fucking demolished them because they were able to figure out how to stop that. You know what I'm just gonna keep going. [00:37:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Like Grogu. [00:37:44] Speaker A: Yeah. Grogu is a Mandalorian now. [00:37:47] Speaker B: Mm hmm. [00:37:47] Speaker A: One being a full fledged Jedi. What the fuck are you. Okay. One being a full fledged Jedi, the other dual wielding the lightsabers in a post order 66 setting. I kind of roll my eye about that. Just one eye, just the way they wrote it. A single eye. [00:38:08] Speaker B: Like, he's not that annoyed, guys. He just rolled one eye. [00:38:12] Speaker A: He's partially annoyed. He kinda rolled that eye. So he kind of roll my eye about that and try to ignore it until one of the two loudly complains to the DM. He can't dual wield lightsabers. There are no Jedi left who have trained him in it. He would have cut off his own arms, argues the mandalorian Jedi with a lightsaber. Well, the other mando joins the argument. You know, I just realized this story sucks. I don't like this story. This is literally just, like, the most isolated Star wars story ever. This is the first. Kayla, Jeff came back to a realization. [00:38:48] Speaker B: Halfway through the story that fucking hates it. [00:38:51] Speaker A: I fucking hate this story. It's just, like, the most. It's not even a Star wars horror story, like, rpg experience. It's just them bitching about lore. I just realized that I did this is. [00:39:04] Speaker B: And that was relevant to you, but then you realized, as you were explaining all of the lore to me, you. [00:39:09] Speaker A: Were like, wow, this sucks. This sucks. This story sucks. So you know what, Kayla? I'm gonna give you a little bit more from the cha chi pt horror story that we got. [00:39:19] Speaker B: Oh, what a treat. [00:39:21] Speaker A: What a treat. The adventurers are a group of seasoned travelers hired by a local lord to investigate the mystery surrounding Hollow shade. Remember that? Remember the whispers of Hollow Shade, or. [00:39:32] Speaker B: Did you already forget? I remember. [00:39:35] Speaker A: So reports have emerged of strange occurrences and disappearances in the region. How? Because there's no one there. Oh. In the region. Okay. Villagers from nearby settlements have reported hearing unsettling whispers in the night, voices calling from the fog, and seeing spectral figures in the forest. [00:39:52] Speaker B: Yeah, Jeff. Jeff, that's all good and dandy. Tell it. I like everything about this, but add Jar Jar Binks into the story. [00:40:00] Speaker A: Refuse to do a Jar Jar Binks impression. [00:40:04] Speaker B: Coward. [00:40:05] Speaker A: Thank you. Come again. That's the first time ever, Kayla, that I've ever read that I've read a story and stopped halfway through. I'm sure it'll never happen again. [00:40:18] Speaker B: I know everybody was really excited about this episode, so I'm glad we could really give the people what they wanted. [00:40:24] Speaker A: Exactly. [00:40:25] Speaker B: And a mediocre viewing experience. Just a heads up, though. Our one year anniversary of tales from the tabletop is coming up on Halloween. [00:40:33] Speaker A: Halloween. [00:40:34] Speaker B: So we're planning something special for you guys. Please, please, please give us some suggestions in our little Google forms link that we have in the description of our episode. We'll also post it on our social media pages. So. [00:40:49] Speaker A: Oh, here it comes. Here comes the speed up. [00:40:51] Speaker B: And you don't even. You don't need to speed me up. [00:40:55] Speaker A: I do. You go slow. [00:40:57] Speaker B: Please find us on all social media platforms. Wait, how do. [00:41:01] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:41:02] Speaker B: That's terrible. [00:41:02] Speaker A: I don't know where that was coming from. I can't speed that up. [00:41:06] Speaker B: It's been so long since I've done. Okay, cut all that out. Cut all that out. [00:41:09] Speaker A: No, that's staying in. I've insulted you. We're keeping it. [00:41:11] Speaker B: No. Thank you so much for joining us at tales from the tabletop. We would love to hear your suggestions. So please follow the Google forms link in our description and on our social media pages so that you can offer us Kayla cauldron spells. Give us suggestions for what stories. Give us your own stories so that we can read them on the podcast as well. [00:41:30] Speaker A: And if you have a fantasy Tinder profile you want to throw in, that. [00:41:33] Speaker B: Could also be a fantasy Tinder profile. Also, just compliments for me or Jeff are really appreciated as well. We already have huge egos, so we would love to feed them more. [00:41:44] Speaker A: But those don't have to be in the Google form. Those can be. Where else can they do that? [00:41:47] Speaker B: Kayla in public, find us on the. [00:41:50] Speaker A: Street and say, I love your podcast. [00:41:52] Speaker B: Follow us on social media. You can find us on Facebook x, formerly known as Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok. Yeah, those are the ones we use. [00:42:03] Speaker A: You're the one that knows it's hard. [00:42:05] Speaker B: Okay? You can also send us [email protected]. again, that is talesfromthetabletoppodmail.com dot. All of our social media platforms are gonna be tales from the tabletop pod or tales from the tt. If you're on xdev, formerly known as Twitter, I hate calling it x. Yeah, I do, too. [00:42:24] Speaker A: I still am not adapting to it, and I can't wait till it dies. But also, you can comment below on some of the, if you're on Spotify, there's a little place there that you can, like, comment on what you thought about the episode. We read all of those, most of them on the podcast, like this one right here from user Jeff Lunter that says, wow, I really like that. Jeff Kaidenhe definitely doesn't sound like he smells. And I'm so glad he gave us that amazing Star Wars Story. Wow, that's weird. [00:42:56] Speaker B: They tell the future. [00:42:57] Speaker A: They knew what it was gonna be. They knew what the story was gonna be. I'm very impressed. [00:43:01] Speaker B: That's very scary. [00:43:02] Speaker A: Way to go, Jeff. Honestly, so much. No, we can't block people on Spotify. That's illegal. [00:43:09] Speaker B: It's against the law. [00:43:11] Speaker A: It's the law. [00:43:13] Speaker B: Oh, my God. Anyway, something very special coming up for our one year anniversary. Thank you so much to everybody who has stuck with us since then and for listening to our long, long rambles at the end of the podcast. And especially for those who stay around for the blooper reel at the very end. That's a special treat. [00:43:29] Speaker A: I like that you did that. You threw that in there just in case, just to let them know there's a little taste. [00:43:36] Speaker B: Just a little. Just a little bit. Just a little bit. Just so the FOMO kicks in. You know what I'm saying? [00:43:41] Speaker A: Exactly. The fobo. [00:43:43] Speaker B: We appreciate you guys sticking with us because we do have full time jobs on top of doing this. So your patience and your kindness is deeply appreciated, and we hope you continue to keep supporting us as our one year anniversary comes up. We are very excited. Jeff and I have a lot of really fun ideas coming up for the podcast, and we want to keep changing. [00:44:00] Speaker A: It, and we're not going to tell you until the day of. And it's going to be fucking amazing. [00:44:04] Speaker B: Just like in school. No, I have something planned, I swear. I'm just not going to tell you until it's ready. [00:44:09] Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. Why would I? [00:44:10] Speaker B: All right, thanks, everybody. [00:44:12] Speaker A: Thank you. [00:44:12] Speaker B: Catch you on the flip side. [00:44:13] Speaker A: Go huskies. [00:44:20] Speaker B: I think my phone vibrated in the middle of that, so I'm gonna start over. [00:44:24] Speaker A: God damn it, cuz. [00:44:25] Speaker B: I think it was caught on 2018. [00:44:26] Speaker A: Kayla wouldn't have done this. There's so much audio engineering that I'd have to do for this segment that I'm not gonna do. You expect me to put a fucking pulley sound? No. [00:44:37] Speaker B: Yes. How hard could it be? I'll make it for you right now. [00:44:42] Speaker A: All right, that's the one I'm using. No, please hold on. I gotta fix my blanket. [00:44:48] Speaker B: My blanket. I have to fix my blanket. [00:44:51] Speaker A: Yeah. The dog is in me. The dog is fixed. Okay, so discord sound effect is a verbal thing. [00:44:56] Speaker B: They took his balls. [00:44:58] Speaker A: They took my dog's balls. He's wiener. He's just a wiener dog. Can you imagine? Yeah. Hey, he got neutered. He's just a wiener dog. Now. Now. [00:45:08] Speaker B: Damn. [00:45:08] Speaker A: He's no longer dick and ball dog. [00:45:14] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:45:15] Speaker A: This is going to be a long episode already. Long. Are we done yet? Oh, yeah. I got to do a story. Okay, so.