Episode 18 - The Cult of Cayla

[00:00:01] Speaker A: What? [00:00:01] Speaker B: Ooh, sorry, Jeremy. Nat one. You know what that means. [00:00:06] Speaker A: No, please. [00:00:07] Speaker B: I have three kids. [00:00:08] Speaker A: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a sec, Kayla. This podcast is not for kids. Content warnings can be found in the episode description. Go ahead. What is up, guys? Welcome to another episode of tales from the tabletop. I am your forever hungry DM, Jeff Lunter. [00:00:58] Speaker B: And I am your over committed DM. Hi. Kayla Williams, dungeon master overdose. I have agreed to not only your side campaign, but also a different dungeons and Dragons podcast, actual play campaign. [00:01:13] Speaker A: Oh, are you going to be on another podcast? [00:01:15] Speaker B: Yeah, if it goes well. I don't. I don't know. [00:01:20] Speaker A: There's a different. There's a very big difference between playing and playing to be entertaining. It is a huge fucking line. [00:01:27] Speaker B: It is a lot of commitment, and I'm curious to see how it goes. I personally think I'm that guy, but I don't know if everybody else I'm recording with is going to be that guy. So we'll see. [00:01:37] Speaker A: Listen, Kayla, it's hard enough with two people. How you think is going to happen with six? [00:01:41] Speaker B: I know. How am I supposed to shine? Everybody's going to be stuck in my shadow. [00:01:46] Speaker A: Oh, God. I wasn't, but okay. You know. Yeah, we'll go with that. That's what I was talking about. [00:01:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:52] Speaker A: Well, welcome back to us. We took a little summer break, and we won't talk anymore on it. Cause everyone loves hearing how we have to. Oh, we're sorry. But now we took a little summer vacation. I'm not sorry. [00:02:04] Speaker B: I have a tan now. [00:02:06] Speaker A: Ugh. [00:02:06] Speaker B: Yeah, it's not even. [00:02:09] Speaker A: I got a tan on my arm from a t shirt. [00:02:12] Speaker B: Not even. [00:02:12] Speaker A: I hope everyone also got a terrible tan like Kayla. [00:02:16] Speaker B: I got my phone fixed. I preordered a new phone on top of that so I can start filming TikToks again. I'm just. I've been fixing my life steadily while you were. [00:02:26] Speaker A: Yeah, that's what the last month has been. [00:02:29] Speaker B: Well, you've been gone off doing God knows what. I've been studying the blade and improving. [00:02:34] Speaker A: My life, you fucking dork. Who are you, Freddie Wong? Get out of here with that shit. [00:02:39] Speaker B: Swing, swing. That's me. [00:02:41] Speaker A: Guess who finally saw my bim bam? [00:02:43] Speaker B: Yes. How was that? [00:02:44] Speaker A: They are so fucking good at podcasting. They're just. They just roll. They just keep going. I'm like, I wish I want to be. Yeah, it makes you want to quit. But we're not going to quit. You're stuck with us forever. Until Kayla dies inevitably from me killing her with rocks. [00:02:57] Speaker B: Specifically with rocks. [00:02:59] Speaker A: Yeah, we're DM's. That's how we kill our players and our friends. [00:03:03] Speaker B: In Dungeons and Dragons news, the hot topic of the week is everybody's talking about player etiquette because everybody's always talking about how to be a better DM. The conversation has now started to where people are asking how to be a better player at the table. [00:03:19] Speaker A: Thank fucking Christ. That's needed. That's 100% needed. It's not all on us DM's. We're not the only problem. Every D and D horror story is the DM's fault, I think, because I'm. [00:03:32] Speaker B: A DM as well. I am a good player because of it, because I know what you're looking for and I know how to contribute to the story. I don't know. I've always been like that, though. You just find those really amazing players that are just on your side and. [00:03:49] Speaker A: You'Re like, yes, please push the story along for me. Thank you. [00:03:53] Speaker B: I like when people do weird shit too. I love when people do weird, unconventional shit, like, oh, I'm gonna tie my sickle to this rope I have. And then I just have, like, fucking 10ft of stab. [00:04:07] Speaker A: Yeah, I like weird shit. And dresden fucking bleeds weird shit all the time. Forever. And you guys just. I don't know how to react to shit, so I just fucking roll with it. [00:04:16] Speaker B: You just say, yep, all right. [00:04:18] Speaker A: Like, fate is such a fucking reactionary dming tool. It is just. It's a hard system to, like, actually work out if your players aren't also as crazy as you are. [00:04:29] Speaker B: I keep Jeff on his toes, though. I keep him sweaty on the daily. I am just saying the weirdest shit constantly. 100. Then I'll go silent after I realize I've been talking too much. [00:04:40] Speaker A: Yeah. And then it's like, is Kayla still here? Oh, they're muted. Okay, cool. We love that. [00:04:46] Speaker B: I was listening. I just wanted other people to talk and I was like, if I have my mic on, I'm gonna yap. I don't know how to shut up. [00:04:53] Speaker A: Like, I'm already yapping. It's just the microphones now muted and. [00:04:57] Speaker B: Cannot be sparing you all from my yap. [00:05:00] Speaker A: I'm still yapping, though. [00:05:01] Speaker B: I'm still. [00:05:02] Speaker A: Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep. Yeah. We've been fucking killing it. We're crushing it. I have a new game today, which we'll get into later. And it's gonna be a fucking good episode. [00:05:10] Speaker B: New Jeff segment. Woo. [00:05:11] Speaker A: No, Jeff. It's new Jeff. Same old Jeff. [00:05:14] Speaker B: Same old new Jeff. Same old new Jeff. What? I guess I'll go first since you did such a lovely intro for us. [00:05:26] Speaker A: I'm incredible. What can I say? [00:05:27] Speaker B: All right, this one is an am I the asshole post? It's by crispy pig parts. [00:05:33] Speaker A: Ew. [00:05:33] Speaker B: Delicious. [00:05:34] Speaker A: I don't even know about that. [00:05:35] Speaker B: I think about pork rinds when I hear that it's posted in R, D and D. It's am I the asshole for telling the newbie wizard not to aoe the party? [00:05:45] Speaker A: Who is a newbie wizard? Why would you. Why would that be your first character? Cause wizard's so stupidly complex. [00:05:52] Speaker B: It's so stupid. Why would anybody play fucking wizard? Why can't you just play a barbarian or a fighter like the rest of us? [00:05:59] Speaker A: Wizards are for people that love first edition. [00:06:02] Speaker B: Some people. [00:06:03] Speaker A: I said it. That's my hot take. [00:06:05] Speaker B: Some people like challenges, Jeff. Not everybody wants to be brain dead when they play like us. Maybe that's the DM brain rot, though. [00:06:12] Speaker A: Yeah. Honestly, I'd play a wizard. [00:06:15] Speaker B: It starts off with an edit. I am not the DM. And our DM does let our players do what they want. Little preface. [00:06:21] Speaker A: Oh, so it starts with an edit. They went in, didn't correct it at the end. They're like, wait, no, no, no. [00:06:28] Speaker B: There's another edit. On top of that, this post has been very interacted with. Okay, it's about a year ago, so we've got all the information we need here. [00:06:37] Speaker A: Good. Perfect. Now. And anyone who came to refute it, any player that decided to get in the comments, they already have. [00:06:44] Speaker B: They've already done it. Maybe one day for our 100th episode, I'm gonna find that post again, and I'll give us the update on the hundredth episode of what the DM said. [00:06:54] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, that one post. [00:06:55] Speaker B: That one post. [00:06:55] Speaker A: Can you remember what post it was? [00:06:57] Speaker B: Nope. [00:06:57] Speaker A: But for 100th episode, we'll remember. You heard it here. [00:07:02] Speaker B: Swear to God, I'll find it for you. So we're a group of really old friends that have never played a campaign together, but we all, except for one, have many years of experience playing. Very interesting that they haven't played yet. Our one new player does pretty well, but is falling into some new player trappings. More on that in a moment. We started the house of lament a couple weeks ago, and we just hit level two. Our DM tosses us into an encounter with five gramishgas. Gramishkas. [00:07:37] Speaker A: I'm gonna let you try it. [00:07:39] Speaker B: Grimishkas. [00:07:40] Speaker A: Grammarka, your polish is coming out right. [00:07:44] Speaker B: After a long rest, and our newbie wizard figures out pretty fast that spells are bad. Excellent. [00:07:52] Speaker A: Oh, no, no. That's terrible. [00:07:54] Speaker B: Hey, they have to learn eventually. You have to take the training wheels off. [00:07:58] Speaker A: Spells are bad, and playing a wizard is even worse. [00:08:01] Speaker B: I fucking hate spellcasters. I already can't do the simple fucking math. Jesus Christ. [00:08:07] Speaker A: Now I have to calculate components and distance. [00:08:10] Speaker B: Let me get out my graphing fucking calculator for this next move. Guys, sorry. Start the timer. [00:08:17] Speaker A: Some people love this. [00:08:18] Speaker B: The fight doesn't go so well, however, as we are missing almost everything. And the grims are hitting everything, including a crit that one shots our bard. I'm the bard. [00:08:28] Speaker A: I'm the bard. [00:08:29] Speaker B: We are frustrated and tensions are rising. I acknowledge here that I got a bit frustrated. So you can assume that I probably had a frustrated tone of voice, even if I was trying not to. [00:08:40] Speaker A: Mm. [00:08:41] Speaker B: I'm a grave cleric. So our bard going down isn't the end of the world, but our newbie wizard declares on his turn, he is going to cast sleep right in the middle of the fray, which would have targeted three Grems and three PCs, including our barbarian. Me and another player spoke up and asked him not to do that. I think I said something to the effect of, this is the kind of shit that leads to idiotic tpks. Do what you want, but please don't cast Aoe spells on the party. He didn't cast it. And we went on to clean up the fight after our DM decided to have mercy on us. Afterwards, a player sent a group text to our chat saying that he didn't like how we jumped on the newbie for trying to cast sleep, that we should have let him do it, and that it, quote unquote, might have worked out. [00:09:28] Speaker A: No, no, no. You don't just let the fucking new player completely ruin everyone else's plans. Like, that's not. [00:09:36] Speaker B: No, but also, like, the metagaming of it is kind of silly. [00:09:39] Speaker A: Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Shutting them down is bad, but also letting the person just, like, completely, like, letting the person have fun at the expense of everyone else, though not a good. Not a good look, I guess. [00:09:52] Speaker B: I don't know. Some things you really just have to learn when it's low stakes. You know what I mean? And I'm sure as a DM, you recognize narratively that it's causing more frustration than not, so you could kind of make it work out. You know, I fudge numbers all the time, so for me, it's not a big deal to try to fudge the encounter as well, you know? [00:10:12] Speaker A: Whoa, whoa, whoa. As a DM or I. Yeah. [00:10:18] Speaker B: Hey, guys, guys, don't listen. [00:10:22] Speaker A: Don't start a podcast with the person who dm'd your campaign and then admit. [00:10:26] Speaker B: All your dirty little secrets. Me, tired, frustrated, responded, basically, sorry if I was a jerk about it, but seriously, don't do that shit. The newbie responded. I get it. Sorry, guys. Did I bully him? Am I the asshole? [00:10:43] Speaker A: No. Well, he was kind of a dick. Like, hey, I'm sorry, but also, don't fucking do it. I wasn't joking. I'm sorry. [00:10:52] Speaker B: But anyways, he was dogging on him a little bit. [00:10:56] Speaker A: He was like, I didn't do it shiny on him. It's like, look. But no, I understand the frustration, dude. The second time was the asshole the first time. Nah, not so much. [00:11:06] Speaker B: I think there is space to bring up, hey, if this happens, I'm starting to get really frustrated. I think it. I don't think. I cannot take it personally if you do this. Can we try to navigate this in a way where it doesn't piss me off in real life and then, you. [00:11:24] Speaker A: Know, oh, that's fair. Yeah, I think, like, it's also here. I'm like. I'm, like, trying to do play the other side. Like, maybe it's okay for the player to do it. It's up for the DM to, like, make it accepting for everyone. Cause I understand being frustrated with a player's choice more than most DM's because look at who's in our campaign. Hey, no offense. [00:11:46] Speaker B: That's fucking crazy. If you just. [00:11:47] Speaker A: It always comes back to the end of season two when you guys were ascending that tower to go back down the tower. [00:11:54] Speaker B: Move, gay boy. I'm about to ascend. [00:11:57] Speaker A: Move, gay boy. Yep, I know that reference. But, yes, it was one of those moments where I was just, like, where I had to push things along, or I should have pushed things along for the sake of the rest of the players, because it was one of our players just examining the crystal and trying to do other things to the crystal for 20 minutes when they could have, like, just continued on and figured out what the crystal would have done based on, like, the rest of the dungeon. [00:12:22] Speaker B: That was a long 20 minutes. [00:12:23] Speaker A: That's one that always comes to mind. It was a very long 20 minutes. [00:12:26] Speaker B: We all learned last year. [00:12:28] Speaker A: We learned. We learned as a DM. So regardless of where the player went with it, it would have been a learning experience. Like, if the player wouldn't have been like, hey, don't fucking do that. And then a double down. Don't fucking do that. For real, though. [00:12:40] Speaker B: Ever since that happened, we learned to do initiative for role play. That's what we learned from that experience. [00:12:49] Speaker A: Yeah, role play initiative. [00:12:51] Speaker B: Or be like, roleplay initiative. [00:12:53] Speaker A: If you're gonna be doing some stupid shit, let's go ahead and put a timer on that. And it starts now. Dink, dink, you have until the end of this song. [00:13:00] Speaker B: Ooh, that would put some pressure on it. [00:13:02] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. Cause a lot of the songs get dun dun dun dun dun dun. And then end and it's like, oh, no. Oh, fuck. [00:13:08] Speaker B: Or, like, put a timer on the screen. Ooh, okay, I'm getting ideas. That's all there is. [00:13:13] Speaker A: There's two people that I know about that I know know how to handle, like, music really well. Kayla's okay at it. Like, she's one of them. And the second one is my real life Dm that I play maybe once every two months. And he literally sets up a soundscape around his fucking apartment of, like, multiple speakers. And, like, as things are happening, there's little sound effects. Just quietly, quietly going by. Like, oh, we walked by a stream. What's that? Oh, there's a babbling. There's a baby brook there. So, you know, he's amazing. Also. You're pretty okay at it. You do choose really good music. You do really good music. And I don't know, I think it's us as players that make it even better because we pause at moments and the music pauses, and it's like, oh. Oh, that was a good moment. [00:13:55] Speaker B: Yeah, we know. I know how to cultivate a vibe. I think my goal, my dream setup would to be have kind of, like, a sound board that I could just fucking. [00:14:05] Speaker A: So you get a spam, ascend, gay boy or whatever the thing you said. Just hit fucking. Oh, God. [00:14:14] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:14:15] Speaker A: Like, and someone walks into the shop, like, he plays little. [00:14:20] Speaker B: Yeah, yeah. Stuff like that just really get us immersed. And we all dress up, and all my friends live close to me on a single compound, and we live off the grid and raise chickens and goats together. And this is getting. We. [00:14:34] Speaker A: This is getting a little bit scary. [00:14:35] Speaker B: We all wear the same clothes all the time, and we don't accept outsiders unless they agree to have all the same ideas as us. Sorry, what were we talking about? [00:14:46] Speaker A: Is this the cult of Kayla episode? [00:14:48] Speaker B: Is that what's happening here? [00:14:49] Speaker A: Are you forming the Kayla fangirls and fanboys and fan others and fan thems and fan. Thems and fan uses. [00:14:59] Speaker B: That's the episode title now. Cult of Kayla. Even the alliteration is good. Come on. [00:15:05] Speaker A: Yeah, the cult of Kayla. But both of them are c. So. Kyla. [00:15:09] Speaker B: Kaila. [00:15:10] Speaker A: Kaila. [00:15:11] Speaker B: Kaila. [00:15:12] Speaker A: The cult of Kyla. [00:15:13] Speaker B: Cult of Kaila. Yee haw. So the edit I was talking about says, morning after edit. I apologize this morning and that's it. [00:15:23] Speaker A: Hey, guys, I apologized. What? Are there any interesting, like, comments through this? Like, did the players come in and be like, to the comments? I know you in real life and your mom's a hoe and gay boys ascend, or whatever you said. I can't remember the quote. [00:15:40] Speaker B: That's gonna be Jeff's vocal stim for the rest of the fucking week. Gay boys ascend. [00:15:45] Speaker A: Gay boys ascend. And we don't have d and D this week. What are we gonna do? [00:15:50] Speaker B: Oh, my God. That's why I want my gay boys gonna record the podcast. [00:15:53] Speaker A: Yes. This is our fixed. Anything interesting in the comments? [00:15:58] Speaker B: Literally, the first comment, it says, you should you advise and guide the newbie, not make them feel stupid and shitty. You're the asshole. Sleep isn't exactly a fireball. Five D, eight GP Max. So at most, 40 GP. And he could have individually woken up all the party members before the duration ran out. True. I was expecting this story to be fireball. [00:16:20] Speaker A: Yeah, I was too. And like, he does have a point. It probably wasn't even gonna work on a single monster. [00:16:26] Speaker B: I'm a little conflicted. Honestly. I don't see anything wrong with letting a player know you don't want them to do something like that on one hand, but on the other hand, it really felt. It really is a straight up newbie. Perhaps a bit of discretion would be good. Always wearable. It's a color side for newbies, especially when you're in a way, the veteran to them. You know, as a DM, I would maybe ask them, are you sure? And show them the radius of the sleep spell. Ooh, that's good. Because maybe they didn't conceptualize that it would hit everyone. [00:16:57] Speaker A: I like the. Are you sure? That's my favorite fucking thing to do. [00:17:00] Speaker B: Are you sure about that? [00:17:01] Speaker A: Are you sure? Are you sure? Okay. [00:17:03] Speaker B: When you ask me that, I get real sweaty. [00:17:06] Speaker A: Yes. And it's great. That's what it's there for. That's what the three words are there for in the english language. Are you sure Jeff is there to make me that? [00:17:14] Speaker B: During our campaign, I said, I want to push through this wall with just sheer force of will. And he goes, are you sure you want to do that? [00:17:23] Speaker A: Yeah. And you got stuck in the wall multiple times. You just kept getting different body parts. [00:17:27] Speaker B: Sexy way I got stuck in the wall. [00:17:30] Speaker A: All your characters aren't hot and sexy. Oh, no step. [00:17:33] Speaker B: Oh, no step. Wizard. [00:17:37] Speaker A: Girl you've been crushing on for fucking months is like, standing there, like, what the fuck is going on? [00:17:42] Speaker B: Hey, they don't need to know that. That my character's crushing on her. That would embarrass me. [00:17:49] Speaker A: I know. [00:17:50] Speaker B: I'm the DM. I know that. [00:17:52] Speaker A: I know. I'm also a human. I pick up on emotions. [00:17:55] Speaker B: Wow. Wow. Such good emotions. [00:17:59] Speaker A: Such good role play. Anyways, enough complimenting Kayla. [00:18:03] Speaker B: Basically, the consensus is to be gentler with him. I understand 100%. [00:18:07] Speaker A: You don't want to scare away new. [00:18:09] Speaker B: Players, and they're so fragile, and it takes a lot to build up confidence to kind of do something like that. He was playing a wizard, which is already fucking sucky. Sorry, sorry. If you like playing wizards, this is a very low brow take from me. [00:18:24] Speaker A: My thing is, like, why would you make the level one, experienced player play a fucking wizard? But, you know, I said that at the beginning, like, I already knew. Like, this dude's gonna struggle with wizard, and what did he do? Try to do something that would hit everyone. [00:18:37] Speaker B: Hey, Jeff Heydeh. Roll constitution for me. [00:18:40] Speaker A: Oh, no. What are we doing? I don't have any dice. I'm gonna roll fate dice instead. Thank you. I got a plus one. [00:18:46] Speaker B: Yeah. You're knocked out. [00:18:48] Speaker A: Oh. [00:18:52] Speaker B: Jeff. Jeff. Wakey, wakey, wake. [00:18:56] Speaker A: Hey, you woke me up, yo. Hey. [00:18:59] Speaker B: Welcome. [00:18:59] Speaker A: What happened? [00:19:00] Speaker B: Nothing. You just, like, passed out. [00:19:03] Speaker A: I remember rolling some dice. Did I pass? [00:19:06] Speaker B: Uh, yeah. Yeah, you did. [00:19:08] Speaker A: Hey, Kayla. [00:19:09] Speaker B: Hey. What? [00:19:10] Speaker A: Let's hear a really awesome, sultry intro to this new game we're gonna be playing. I need you to hit me with some music right now for the new game that I am bringing to the table. Let me hear it with Kayla and the theme song of fantasy Tinder. Whoa. Dump saxophone welcome to Fantasy Tinder. Kayla. [00:19:37] Speaker B: Fantasy. [00:19:38] Speaker A: You know, everyone, everyone needs a little bit of love. Even our James. What is it, George? RR Martin. Even he needs some love. Just kidding. He's not in this. So what is fantasy Tinder, Kayla? [00:19:51] Speaker B: I feel like it's a game that was made to target me. [00:19:55] Speaker A: Here's the thing, right? Last night, I'm talking to. I'm talking to my partner right before we're going to bed. I'm like, I have an idea for a game, and it's going to involve, like, potions and stuff like that. Maybe it'll come up later. But then I woke up this morning, I'm like, nope, no potions. We're doing fantasy Tinder. So, fantasy Tinder, I am going to give you three chances to guess. There will be three. Okay. There's going to be three people. You need to guess what class they are based on their Tinder profile description. Ooh. [00:20:28] Speaker B: Okay. [00:20:28] Speaker A: And you have three chances to guess each individual one. There will be three of them, and I'm gonna give you, like, different little descriptions in fantasy Tinder. There are no phones. This is hung up on a notice wall. And whether or not you swipe on it, it's ripping the page off the notice wall. [00:20:47] Speaker B: It has, like, a bunch of tiny little tabs. Like the tiny phone numbers? [00:20:50] Speaker A: Yes. So that's it. That's where you're going for. You don't know what they look like. But you know what? There's a little mystery to that. Are you ready, Kayla, for your first character? [00:20:59] Speaker B: It's a poorly drawn picture of them. [00:21:01] Speaker A: So I didn't want to get crazy with this because it is our first time doing it. But when we do this in the future, I will add subclasses, so no pressure. This is fifth edition. This is fifth edition. So this is going to be very easy for the first round for, honestly, all of them are pretty easy. So I would like you to meet Barbara Ann. [00:21:21] Speaker B: Hi, Barbara. [00:21:22] Speaker A: Their interests are hiking, fishing, and getting mad at bandits. So each little bit of description, I'm gonna give you a chance to guess so you can guess what kind of class it is based on each little thing I give. The name doesn't count. [00:21:36] Speaker B: Ranger. [00:21:37] Speaker A: All right, that's one point. That's three points for you. [00:21:40] Speaker B: Yeah. Let's fucking go read the rest of it. [00:21:43] Speaker A: Their quote is, hey, babe, take a walk on the wild side. Whoa. And they love long walks on the beach with my dog. [00:21:52] Speaker B: Okay. Yeah, that definitely would have gotten it for me. [00:21:55] Speaker A: Yeah, the last one would have gotten it. I tried to make the last ones a little bit more thing, but I think the hiking, fishing, I wanted to deter you because I said Barbara Ann getting mad at bandits. But you know what, Kayla? This game might not be as good as I thought it was. [00:22:08] Speaker B: Or maybe I'm just too good. [00:22:11] Speaker A: All right, well, we'll see on this. [00:22:12] Speaker B: My thirst knows no limits. [00:22:14] Speaker A: So I would like you to meet your next lovely contender, Rouge. [00:22:20] Speaker B: Whoa. [00:22:20] Speaker A: Roj, Rose, rogue. [00:22:24] Speaker B: Hmm. [00:22:25] Speaker A: Their favorite song, staying alive. [00:22:28] Speaker B: Oh. Okay. [00:22:29] Speaker A: You can guess, or you can make me give you more. [00:22:31] Speaker B: I want. I think I know, but I want one more. [00:22:34] Speaker A: Their interests include meditating and spending time with my friends. [00:22:38] Speaker B: Necromancer. [00:22:39] Speaker A: No. One more guess. God, is my best friend a paladin? Ooh. I win. You get zero points. That's three points to me, bitch. [00:22:48] Speaker B: Why do you automatically win? [00:22:51] Speaker A: I win. Cause that is a cleric, and you are incorrect. Oh, my God. [00:22:54] Speaker B: Same bullshit. [00:22:56] Speaker A: A cleric named Rogue Rouge. It's literally spelled just like rogue. By the way. I know you can't spell or do math, so I figured me spelling it out for you didn't. [00:23:06] Speaker B: The staying alive. I thought it was ironic. [00:23:09] Speaker A: The staying alive? Yeah. You know, at first, I was afraid. [00:23:12] Speaker B: I was petrified. [00:23:14] Speaker A: Well, I would also. Kayla, I'm winning. So we got three to three. [00:23:18] Speaker B: That's crazy. How are you winning when we're tied? How are you winning if you have all the answers? Not a competition. [00:23:24] Speaker A: Here's the. Here's how the points work. I'm making it up right now. That's crazy. You get 1.3 points for guessing out on the first round, two points for guessing out of the second round, and three points for guessing it on the third round, or one point for guessing on the third round. You know, three, two, one. But I get points based on how many it takes you to get. [00:23:43] Speaker B: I see. [00:23:44] Speaker A: So I have four points and you have three. Four points if you got it in one. So I at least get one point for trying? [00:23:52] Speaker B: Yeah. I don't know where the other three come from. [00:23:55] Speaker A: Oh, because I won last round. You suck. [00:23:58] Speaker B: What the fuck? This is so rigged. That's fucking insane. I just. I win. [00:24:04] Speaker A: Kayla, it is 2024. I get a participation point. Do not hit me with that. [00:24:09] Speaker B: I get a participation point. This is fucking. [00:24:13] Speaker A: I just realized I'm looking at the third character. I don't have a third descriptor for them. So this will be. [00:24:20] Speaker B: I guess I'll have to get it the first try. [00:24:23] Speaker A: I would like you to meet suitor number three, Grey Falcon. The wise. [00:24:29] Speaker B: Whoa. How wise is he? [00:24:31] Speaker A: Their lifestyle. They love a party. [00:24:34] Speaker B: Hmm. [00:24:34] Speaker A: It's one of their first ones. You can guess if you would like. [00:24:37] Speaker B: Give me the second one. [00:24:38] Speaker A: Are you sure? I get a point. [00:24:41] Speaker B: Fuck. I hate seeing you win. [00:24:44] Speaker A: I have four. [00:24:45] Speaker B: They like to party. [00:24:46] Speaker A: That's why I love a party. That's one of their lifestyles. Is that bard point for me, I'm at 5.1 of their lifestyle things. They're also a night owl. [00:24:57] Speaker B: They like to party, and they're a night owl. Someone's screaming at it like someone's screaming it at me. I can feel it. [00:25:04] Speaker A: Take as long as you want. [00:25:05] Speaker B: It's. [00:25:06] Speaker A: I'll get points either way. [00:25:08] Speaker B: Fuck you. I can't think. You're in my fucking head. The night owl thing is throwing me off so hard. [00:25:17] Speaker A: Looks like I'm playing the game right. [00:25:19] Speaker B: This is bullshit. And you don't have a third thing. [00:25:21] Speaker A: I don't, but I can come up with one now. [00:25:24] Speaker B: Make up? Yeah, make one up right now. [00:25:26] Speaker A: So you're gonna let me get two points? [00:25:27] Speaker B: Yes. Don't say it like I'm allowing you to have points, okay? You only succeed because I let you. [00:25:35] Speaker A: Wait, hold on. This doesn't make any sense. My rules don't make any sense because I would have, like, nine points right now. [00:25:41] Speaker B: Yeah, and there's no way for me to get that many points. This is literally fucking rigged against me. This is insane. [00:25:49] Speaker A: Just like fantasy Tinder. [00:25:51] Speaker B: Jev said, how can I create a game where Kayla cannot win? She wins everything. And she's so good at everything. How can I make her lose her fucking mind? It's like that episode a game changer. [00:26:05] Speaker A: I'm at nine points. [00:26:07] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:26:09] Speaker A: I think I might win this. [00:26:11] Speaker B: I'm gonna pop a blood vessel right now. [00:26:15] Speaker A: I'm also stalling while I think for another one. Let's see. [00:26:19] Speaker B: I'm foaming at the mouth right now. This is. Ugh. Go on, Jeff. [00:26:24] Speaker A: Tell us your fucking great key to your heart. [00:26:26] Speaker B: Key to your heart. Oh, a warlock. [00:26:35] Speaker A: I have ten. What do I have? Twelve points? [00:26:38] Speaker B: Now you're just adding numbers. I don't even know where these fucking numbers are coming from. That's actually insane. What was it? [00:26:47] Speaker A: Grey Falcon the wise is a rogue. They love a party. Cause they can steal from a lot of people. [00:26:53] Speaker B: Boo. [00:26:53] Speaker A: They're a night owl because they're a rogue. [00:26:56] Speaker B: Oh, my God. [00:26:57] Speaker A: Boo. [00:26:58] Speaker B: Boo. [00:26:58] Speaker A: You hold the key to my heart. [00:26:59] Speaker B: The key to your heart, I thought was some sort of, like, pact thing. [00:27:03] Speaker A: Oh, that would actually be really good. [00:27:05] Speaker B: Yeah, it would have been really good. Maybe you should have fucking changed it. [00:27:08] Speaker A: I won the game with twelve points. [00:27:10] Speaker B: That's actually fucking insane. Cause then it's only possible for me to get nine points. If I had guessed. If I had, like, a fucking neural. [00:27:20] Speaker A: But if you guessed all of them, I would only get three. Wait, I gotta mix up the point system a little bit. We'll figure it out next round. That was the prototype. [00:27:27] Speaker B: This does not make sense, bro. Left. Swipe left on all of these uglies. Swipe left on Roche. [00:27:34] Speaker A: The cleric. Roche. The cleric was beautiful. Roche staying alive by the pgs. [00:27:39] Speaker B: Roche could get it in. [00:27:41] Speaker A: Barbara and Barbara and the fucking ranger. I thought that would have gotten. [00:27:45] Speaker B: Oh, I did too well too early. [00:27:47] Speaker A: Yeah, you blew. You fucking blew your load. [00:27:50] Speaker B: Much like Tinder. [00:27:52] Speaker A: Hey. Just like Tinder. Hey, if you like this game, email [email protected] to find your love on the. [00:28:00] Speaker B: Notice board for matchmakers. [00:28:03] Speaker A: But first you have to give us a quote. Give us a horror story. [00:28:06] Speaker B: And then maybe I'm gonna make a Google sheets form. [00:28:08] Speaker A: Oh, yeah. We'll talk about it at the end episode. Oh, wait, no, we don't do ant. We do. [00:28:17] Speaker B: Make me sound funnier than I am, Jeffree. [00:28:20] Speaker A: That's very difficult. Okay. So welcome. I hope you enjoyed my game. I hope you enjoyed my game. Did you? You almost won. You were very close. [00:28:30] Speaker B: Yeah, it was fine. [00:28:32] Speaker A: You only lost by nine points, and I'm proud of you. [00:28:35] Speaker B: It's whatever. I don't. I'm over it. [00:28:38] Speaker A: Well, Kayla, I have a story for you. [00:28:40] Speaker B: Oh, gee whiz. I love stories. Jeff. [00:28:42] Speaker A: Kayla. I was the DM's favorite. It was social hell. [00:28:46] Speaker B: Can't relate. [00:28:46] Speaker A: This is from RD and D. Horror stories written by Kayla themselves. Straight, actually, if your name is straight, hyphen reach hyphen 3643, then it's written by Kayla. That's their name. That's the person. That's the user who wrote it. [00:29:00] Speaker B: Oh, that's me. Yeah. Sorry. [00:29:01] Speaker A: Yeah, that's you. [00:29:02] Speaker B: That's literally me. [00:29:03] Speaker A: Why would that confuse you? Of all the things I've said, he's just. [00:29:06] Speaker B: You say words sometimes, and I go, that's crazier. [00:29:12] Speaker A: One of those ticks. One of those ticks I hear in the podcast when I know you've lost interest. [00:29:16] Speaker B: He knows how I breathe, too. It's fucking wild. [00:29:18] Speaker A: Yo, don't be an editor. Don't edit your best friend's voice. [00:29:24] Speaker B: You learn too much about him. [00:29:26] Speaker A: This all happened a few years back with a friend group that I have split apart from since for very good reasons. We were playing a D and D game, but set in a world war two style, wartime and setting. The DM were. Oh, God. The DM was kind of obsessed with military army stuff and also hated elves, so, of course, the elves were Nazi adjacent. [00:29:49] Speaker B: Oh, my God. It's always fantasy. Fucking racism, dude. [00:29:53] Speaker A: People love to be racist. [00:29:56] Speaker B: Welcome to D and D. Yeah, if d and d theme song. [00:30:01] Speaker A: It's the theme theme song for the fucking Tinder fantasy. [00:30:04] Speaker B: Tinder play it and put a little. [00:30:05] Speaker A: Love to be racist. [00:30:07] Speaker B: Put a little like. But down, down, down, bound down, down, people. [00:30:11] Speaker A: I can't love to be racist. I'm not having Jerry Seinfeld come after me. The elves are, of course, not. See adjacent. Why wouldn't they be? [00:30:18] Speaker B: Oh, yeah, obviously. [00:30:20] Speaker A: I honestly thought it was. When I read this the first time, I thought it was gonna go in the opposite direction where they're like, he loved military and army stuff, but also hated elves. And I'm like, uh oh, uh oh. We know what happened the last time a person hated a race. Uh oh. Especially in regards to World War two. But you know what? The Nazis. The elves are Nazis, of course. Yeah, that makes sense. [00:30:42] Speaker B: Yeah. Obvious. [00:30:43] Speaker A: I am a staunch elf lover, but I wanted to respect DM's canon without hurting the party by having a character who would constantly be mistaken for a bad guy. So I made a hell I love. So I made a half orc, half elf fighter who was lawful good. I don't want to be mistaken for a bad guy, so I'm going half elf, half orc. [00:31:03] Speaker B: Sneaky, under the radar. [00:31:06] Speaker A: DM was excited. We conspired about how there could be possible drama and pitfalls and all sorts of things that result from my character's mixed race heritage. Meanwhile, the other players made their own characters. Okay, I'm sorry. That's just such a funny thing to put in the middle of a story where, like, we made our characters anyways. Meanwhile, the other players made their characters. [00:31:27] Speaker B: And then everybody else who I'm talking. [00:31:29] Speaker A: About in this story, the DM starts the session with the characters meeting and the DM PC being assigned to their fleet. The DMPC was a brooding, rude sniper who didn't care for being friendly while the rest of the party was jubilant and excited. The second you entered in, like, dude, why would you introduce a DMPC that isn't a good care? A bird person? Like, not just a good person, but, like, sociable. Like, what the fuck are they there for? [00:31:54] Speaker B: To die. [00:31:55] Speaker A: To die. I guess they're there to tank more damage and make the encounters more difficult. I guess. I guess a tosh was a fucking legend, though. [00:32:02] Speaker B: And then I married her. [00:32:03] Speaker A: And then Kayla fell in love with her and married her. [00:32:07] Speaker B: My character. My character. [00:32:09] Speaker A: Kayla's character. That's what I said. [00:32:13] Speaker B: I love romancing NPC's because I can project whatever I want onto them. [00:32:18] Speaker A: And the DM has to be like, okay, yeah. Yep. [00:32:23] Speaker B: Jeff just gets to pretend to be my girlfriend in every campaign. [00:32:26] Speaker A: I get to be everyone's girlfriend in every campaign ever. [00:32:29] Speaker B: It's true, though. We all. We all are on that sauce. [00:32:33] Speaker A: I. I was the fucking. I was a boyfriend, too. I was a husband. I was a wife. I'm everything. [00:32:39] Speaker B: A single mom who works too hard. [00:32:43] Speaker A: Oh. Loves her kids. Your three ever DM. [00:32:50] Speaker B: Yee haw. [00:32:51] Speaker A: Which gentle rolls and the 20 that they lie about. My name is Caleb. I lied about my crit. [00:33:02] Speaker B: No, I've never lied. I swear to God, I've never lied about it. [00:33:07] Speaker A: You just admitted. You just admitted. Let's rewind the tape, Jeffrey. Tape. [00:33:12] Speaker B: No, don't rewind, please. I fudge numbers all the time, so for me, it's not a big deal to try to fudge the encounter as well, you know? [00:33:20] Speaker A: Whoa, whoa, whoa. As a DM or. [00:33:23] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:33:24] Speaker A: And that's where you lied. [00:33:26] Speaker B: I. You know, I think that's AI. [00:33:29] Speaker A: That's an AI generated calaboid. [00:33:31] Speaker B: Yeah, it's AI. [00:33:32] Speaker A: We have enough episodes that I think we could do that. [00:33:35] Speaker B: That's terrifying to me. [00:33:36] Speaker A: Think about it. You die. I can continue the podcast with the AI version of you. [00:33:43] Speaker B: Ugh. That's like a black mirror episode. [00:33:46] Speaker A: It really is. There's so much of our voice on the Internet that our descendants will find our voice and be able to recreate it. Just like Tupac's hologram. [00:33:53] Speaker B: I hope they think I'm cool. [00:33:55] Speaker A: Honestly. Same. [00:33:55] Speaker B: Probably not. [00:33:57] Speaker A: I don't have any descendants. The only descendants I have are my D 20. Cause it's made of metal. All right. [00:34:05] Speaker B: The bloodline ends with us. [00:34:07] Speaker A: The bloodline ends with my natural one. We didn't pay the DMPC much attention, nor did we respect him. First mistake. [00:34:14] Speaker B: Nor did we respect him. [00:34:16] Speaker A: I just love mistake. We didn't care about them, nor did we give a shit about anything they said. [00:34:21] Speaker B: Fuck that guy. [00:34:22] Speaker A: First mistake. Southern Belle wizard makes fun of the DNBC and gets into a small argument with him. Second mistake. [00:34:31] Speaker B: Well, I do declare this boy's a bitch. [00:34:37] Speaker A: Snipe this and they fucking show their ass. [00:34:41] Speaker B: What? Shut up. Shut up. It's been too long. We haven't recorded in so fucking long. Shut up. [00:34:53] Speaker A: In the battle, my fighter does a lot of heavy hits. And with every enemy she finds, she offers them the option of surrender instead of dying, which many of them take. Meanwhile, rest of the party is murdering enemies. Puppy blanket needs to adjust. Wow. Wow. Okay. Thank you. Owg. I appreciate your input on the podcast, but you're not a guest. Meanwhile. [00:35:16] Speaker B: Not yet. [00:35:17] Speaker A: Meanwhile, the rest of the party is murdering enemies. This isn't abnormal for their alignments. I'm the only one who has a good alignment at all. I take death very seriously in games, but I do that virtually to be a straight man to a party's antics. Oh straight reach 3643 yes. I wonder if they made this throwaway user account anyways. Specifically there was a joke there and I lost it. Also Diem approved their alignments. However the murdering was the the third and final mistake. At the end of the battle my character passes out rations to surrendered enemies, giving them water. General lawful good stuff. A war journalist approaches, asks my character specifically for quotes in photos. Im a bit taken aback, seems odd. I play along as my character would and insist that my team is a part of why the mission succeeded. They take pictures and apparently it makes front page news. Nothing about the team other than praising my character for being a strong and noble leader. DM's girlfriend is upset because her character's whole thing is being famous and the journalist kept brushing her character off. DM says that my character was especially heroic. I am embarrassed when you get too much attention from the DM. That's when it's like a problem. [00:36:34] Speaker B: Yeah, I can't handle any sort of real compliment. [00:36:39] Speaker A: Yeah, that's why I give you fake ones on this podcast. [00:36:42] Speaker B: Yep. Jeff has never given me a real compliment ever. [00:36:46] Speaker A: I have never once been honest. [00:36:48] Speaker B: I saw a TikTok one time that was like me on my way to be the DM's favorite and it's like I need nothing at all. [00:36:58] Speaker A: Sounds good. [00:36:59] Speaker B: Yeah, it's like when people try to. [00:37:02] Speaker A: Be like, hey, hey, have you seen this movie? Have you seen this movie? You should watch this movie. And you're just like, yeah, that's the 21st century version of it. I'm kidding. I'm fucking with you. I wanted that look. [00:37:14] Speaker B: So guys, I didn't want it to be this soon, but I will be leaving the podcast and being replaced by AI. [00:37:20] Speaker A: A single mom who works so hard, who talks to TikToks and no one cares. I do love that. That was a good TikTok. I think you've shown me that one. [00:37:28] Speaker B: I sent it to the group. [00:37:31] Speaker A: It made me nose. [00:37:33] Speaker B: It made me haha. I just read the story. Jeffrey. [00:37:36] Speaker A: I am embarrassed. We get back from the mission, DMPC tries to talk to the team. Southern bell ignores and is rude to DMPC. The game ends soon and DM seems pissed. DM is my ride. DM is also DM's girlfriends ride. I have to sit in the car and listen to DM start to cry about how nobody engaged with the DMPC and how it was unfair and that I was the only one who was respectful of the setting. DMs girlfriend gets mad because she was playing her southern belle as written, including being mean to people who arent friendly or hospitable. I state that the party didnt connect with the DMPC, especially because we had no other enemies and its fun to have someone to band together against. DM is still hurt, but im home. So I get the fuck out of there. I like the idea of like, okay, I kind of can see before we finish, there's only like a paragraph left. But I'm like, I can kind of see the DM getting upset with them not interacting with the DNPC. Cause the DM likes to play too, guys. [00:38:35] Speaker B: Fuck em. [00:38:35] Speaker A: You know how many scenes you guys have in dresden where I'm like, what character can I put in this scene. [00:38:40] Speaker B: To be a part of it? How can I really like this about me? [00:38:43] Speaker A: How can I be in the scene too? And I'm like, let's make a girl have a seizure and throw up blood in the middle of the fucking circle. [00:38:51] Speaker B: Is it me? Am I the drama? [00:38:53] Speaker A: Is it me? Time to talk. Oh, yeah. Wait, we're playing your campaign? No, it's my campaign. [00:38:59] Speaker B: Jeffrey time. [00:39:02] Speaker A: So anytime I open my mouth, you go by, guys, wait, Jeffrey time. Just fucking embarrass the show. [00:39:07] Speaker B: Jeffrey, shut up. Jeff is talking. [00:39:12] Speaker A: God, if only anyone listened to me ever. That wouldn't even work. They're like, yeah, we know. [00:39:17] Speaker B: Yeah, obviously, idiot. And then we. And then every time you try to give exposition, we give your character the stupidest ass name we made. His fairy NPC. Sigandis. [00:39:32] Speaker A: I forgot you got Sigandi's. And the other one that you tried, the name that escaped. Cause you guys are dumb. [00:39:37] Speaker B: That's crazy. That's why I give your fucking NPC's ugly ass names. [00:39:42] Speaker A: To be fair, Tiff was the one that turned it invisible. So it's. [00:39:45] Speaker B: We try to call all of our NPC's, like dumbass meme names or Jeff. [00:39:51] Speaker A: You know, it's funny, most campaigns use Jeff as the stupid character. So you know what? I'm okay with that. [00:39:56] Speaker B: And that's how we get back at Jeff. It's the little things, guys. [00:40:00] Speaker A: The fuck out of here. So I get the fuck out of here. Yeah. Wasn't left Junter a character? [00:40:08] Speaker B: Yeah, he's a shitty bass player. [00:40:10] Speaker A: Oh, yeah, left gentleman. Evolver. Evolver. [00:40:16] Speaker B: Go listen to revolver. Revolver on Spotify now. [00:40:18] Speaker A: Yeah, we're gonna be recording this weekend. New single coming out soon, acid song. Except we. It's not called that. So anyways, DM messages us saying that the way we played was aberrant and I disrespectful. Why do. Why can I pronounce aberrant and not abhorrent? Hyperbolic, is it not aberrant? [00:40:37] Speaker B: Abhorrent. [00:40:38] Speaker A: Abort. Fuck. I can't do that either. DM message us saying that the way we played was aberrant and disrespectful. Besides, my character and I did that on purpose. Kayla, don't you interrupt me. [00:40:47] Speaker B: It put it in how you pronounce it right here. [00:40:51] Speaker A: Abhorrent. Oh, God damn it. No. Google. [00:40:55] Speaker B: Aberrant. [00:40:56] Speaker A: Amaranth. I hate that that's gonna be a thing on this podcast is every time I say a word wrong, Google. We're gonna have to cut to google and then cut back to me. I love that, and I will not let it slide. Thank you, Kayla. You're awesome for that so much. Keeps pointing out how I treated the setting and characters with respect and realism, and the party needs to learn from my character. DM says they can't do the game anymore and calls it quick for those curious. DM and girlfriend are still together, last I heard. [00:41:25] Speaker B: Wolf. [00:41:26] Speaker A: That's a big fucking wolf. [00:41:27] Speaker B: Yeah, big wolf. [00:41:28] Speaker A: After I talk so much shit, do you remember what happened in the rest of the story? [00:41:31] Speaker B: I don't feel nothing at all. [00:41:33] Speaker A: Kayla does not remember the rest of the. [00:41:38] Speaker B: Comments. [00:41:38] Speaker A: I understand not interacting with the DNPC making you upset because the DM, like I said, likes to play a little bit, but also don't give one person attention. That's the last thing you need. You're like, hey, by the way, they're the target now. They're doing it right. So everyone go ahead and bully them. [00:41:55] Speaker B: Why didn't they just kill him? Like, just kill the NPC and then make a new one who everybody actually likes? [00:42:01] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:42:02] Speaker B: If your players are being cold to your NPC, it's because you did a shitty job writing them. Make them killed. [00:42:09] Speaker A: You killed american sniper. Well, here comes Glork, the goblin from the tavern that everyone paid attention to when I had a plot in the other direction. Hey, it's me, Clarp. [00:42:21] Speaker B: There was when I was playing, and this is the last tangent, I swear. [00:42:26] Speaker A: You have a tangent. What? [00:42:28] Speaker B: I was playing a solar eclipse. One shot with our dear friend Kyle. [00:42:33] Speaker A: David Perry, and they are amazing. [00:42:36] Speaker B: The party, they DM. [00:42:37] Speaker A: Kayla, I know it was great if. [00:42:38] Speaker B: They did the party hyper focused on this fly character. It was. It was so bad. He. I forget his name. It was like, geezorp. [00:42:50] Speaker A: Can I interrupt for a second? I sounded so pretentious saying that Kyle, Dave, and Perry, like, the way I said it, made it be like, ah, they were dming. It was good. Like, I made it sound like, they aren't a good DM. They are an incredible DM. Anyways, back to Kayla. I needed to. I had to interrupt. [00:43:05] Speaker B: I had to say it. It was like, geez. Or, I'm sure Kyle's going to text me and correct me. It was like, geesorp the fly. He was the barkeep. And he talked like this. And when he introduced him to us, I immediately go, is he hot? Kyle rolled some dice, and he was like, he's medium sexy. [00:43:27] Speaker A: Medium sexy. On a scale of one to what did they roll? That's what I want to know. Let me roll my sex dice. [00:43:35] Speaker B: Like, can you remember, like, a 13 or something? [00:43:37] Speaker A: Oh, my God. I need to buy a set of sex dice and just have those on standby for, like, not even sex stuff. Just like, all right, well, it says foot, so they are ugly. [00:43:50] Speaker B: That's so stupid. Yeah, so medium sexy. And then another player we were with was like, I'm going to fuck geese. [00:44:01] Speaker A: I'm also medium sexy. How did you know that's my type? Medium sexy. How. How dare you create this character for me, Kyle? David Perry knows how to fucking bring out the heat. [00:44:15] Speaker B: Yeah. Kyle fucks Kyle. [00:44:18] Speaker A: Fucks Kyle Fox. [00:44:22] Speaker B: Welcome back, everybody. Season two. [00:44:26] Speaker A: What? [00:44:26] Speaker B: Welcome back to season two. [00:44:28] Speaker A: Kayla just announced it's season two, and I did not consent to this, but. Oh, well, that was an episode. [00:44:38] Speaker B: That was an episode of a podcast. [00:44:40] Speaker A: On our podcast we both do together. [00:44:44] Speaker B: Together. [00:44:45] Speaker A: Best friends. [00:44:46] Speaker B: Best friends. All right, are you ready for me to do my thing? [00:44:51] Speaker A: I'll get ready to speed up your voice and do it. [00:44:54] Speaker B: Thank you so much for joining us this week for another episode of tales from the tabletop. You can find us on multiple social media platforms at tales from the tabletop. Hot. Or if you're on Twitter, formerly known as Twitter, but is now x. We are tales from the TT. I'm going to be making a Google form for you to submit your stories. So it's a little bit easier than sending an email to us because we recognize that sending an email can sometimes be a little bit daunting. Please submit a Google form if you would like us to read your stories on the podcast. I might even make a TikTok about them. My phone is now fixed, so expect more content coming onto TikTok and Twitter and Facebook and the like. Honestly, I don't expect you to be on Facebook unless you're, like, 35. [00:45:28] Speaker A: That's me. [00:45:29] Speaker B: We really appreciate you guys, and we hope you join us over there. We want to expand to YouTube a little bit more as well. I'll be working on that, but trickle down economics. [00:45:40] Speaker A: You know, Kayla, I just realized the last episode had your name in it, so I can't do it again. [00:45:45] Speaker B: We can't double dip. [00:45:47] Speaker A: Okay, we'll double dip. And then the next two are gonna be my name. [00:45:50] Speaker B: Just call it double dip. [00:45:53] Speaker A: Double dip. No, Kayla. The cult of Kayla is perfect. [00:45:56] Speaker B: Cult. You're funnier. It's so true. Any closing statements, Jeff? You haven't seen the people in a minute. [00:46:02] Speaker A: Here's a statement from the court. I am. All of my opinions are not my own. They are the opinions of the cult leader, Kayla. That. Objection overruled. I am also the judge in the court of Kayla. Go see my bimbam live. They are on tour. Actually, the last show was in Cleveland. [00:46:22] Speaker B: And so they make enough money without us shouting them out. Everybody knows they're good. [00:46:28] Speaker A: Go make sure to follow us on blogspot.com. is it co. What is blogspot? I don't remember. There is some fan fiction there of rogue the cleric that you would really enjoy. [00:46:42] Speaker B: He's lying, Caleb. It's not true. Don't listen. [00:46:45] Speaker A: Blogspot. Let me double check the link here. Blogspot doesn't exist anymore. Blogspot is God. [00:46:53] Speaker B: Never mind will to live after that fucking. [00:46:58] Speaker A: It's called blogger now. Blogger.com. tate. [00:47:02] Speaker B: It's like when you. Or changed to quotev it. Well, it's whatever it is. It's quote have now that's making me apparently. But our newbie whispered. Let me try that again. I'm gonna clap. [00:47:20] Speaker A: Uh huh. [00:47:21] Speaker B: No, you know where to edit it. [00:47:22] Speaker A: No, you don't. Honestly. I'll get it. [00:47:24] Speaker B: Okay, I'll yell. Ah. Just look for that when you're editing. [00:47:27] Speaker A: Thanks. I won't. [00:47:29] Speaker B: If you can hear this, you're not here anymore. Oh, you're back. [00:47:32] Speaker A: I came back. What the fuck? This quote. Did you hear my Jerry Seinfeld joke? [00:47:38] Speaker B: No. [00:47:38] Speaker A: I said he hates the gays. [00:47:40] Speaker B: Is probably. [00:47:41] Speaker A: No, wait. He hates the left because he's right handed. I thought you disconnected because you were so offended. You're like, this joke not good. [00:47:51] Speaker B: I thought you were like, I'm about to say something really funny. You laughed and.