Episode 15 - Lower Ooze

[00:00:01] Speaker A: What? Ooh, sorry, Jeremy. Matt won. You know what that means. [00:00:06] Speaker B: No, please. [00:00:07] Speaker A: I have three kids. [00:00:08] Speaker B: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on a sec, Kayla. This podcast is not for kids. Content warnings can be found in the episode description. Go ahead. [00:00:51] Speaker A: Hello, and welcome to tales from the table top, a podcast about the worst people you know, including me. Hi, I'm Kayla Williams, your siren DM, come into the cold waters. I won't drown you. I promise. [00:01:10] Speaker B: Your number one DM extraordinaire. [00:01:14] Speaker A: Oh, my God. [00:01:15] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:01:16] Speaker A: General Grievous. What are you doing here? [00:01:19] Speaker B: Hey, may the force be with you. [00:01:22] Speaker A: Oh, I forgot you were being a dork this weekend. [00:01:25] Speaker B: Yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. May the fourth happened. We went to the Lego store, and everything was sold out, and I was so sad. And then we went to the card shop. Cause I really wanted to spend money, and all the stuff I wanted was sold out, and I was sad. And then just a lot of things. I bought a tent. I just wanted to spend money. I wanted to spend money. So I'm like, okay, I guess I'll spend money on my backpacking shit. I guess I'm doing that now. But fucking General Grievous came to play. [00:01:59] Speaker A: Why is that so good? [00:02:01] Speaker B: I have props. That was. I literally brought a prop. I brought a red solo cup up just to be able to do the fucking voice. [00:02:08] Speaker A: Oh, so y'all got. [00:02:10] Speaker B: I think I ruined my voice for the rest of the podcast. [00:02:13] Speaker A: Yeah. Jeff is just fucked for the rest of this thing. [00:02:15] Speaker B: I've just fucked. I'm literally fucked. I don't know. What's up, guys? [00:02:19] Speaker A: I didn't have such good props. Hi. It's been a while. [00:02:22] Speaker B: How you doing? Siren, you fucking loser. That was good, though. That was a good one. You preface this with, I got a really good intro. Hold on. [00:02:30] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:02:30] Speaker B: And that was it. [00:02:31] Speaker A: And that was it. I came up with that while I was taking my little nappy nap. [00:02:35] Speaker B: You dreamt of doing that intro? [00:02:36] Speaker A: Yeah. I dreamt of drowning sailors, our listeners, in the cold, icy, deep water. [00:02:41] Speaker B: Oh, welcome. I had some ocean sound effects during your intro, Jeff. Why would I say that? Why would I tell myself that? [00:02:49] Speaker A: You didn't hear it on discord, but I did yell, so good luck editing that. [00:02:55] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:02:56] Speaker A: In other news, this is tails from. [00:02:58] Speaker B: The tail top, a D and D podcast. [00:03:00] Speaker A: We met in person recently, and do you want to talk about it on the podcast? What happened? [00:03:05] Speaker B: Yeah, the good news. Let's talk about all the crazy stuff that happened. [00:03:08] Speaker A: We met in person. Jeff saw my face, and I tried not to throw up. When I saw him, I was great. [00:03:13] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. I'm so proud of you for doing that. [00:03:16] Speaker A: It was a lot of fun. We played in person. It's really magical having an all online group and then finally meeting up in person after three years. [00:03:25] Speaker B: You say that like we haven't done that at least once before. [00:03:28] Speaker A: Only once in my memories and my dreams. [00:03:30] Speaker B: This is our second time. This is our. We got a cabin in the woods and all hung out. And I proposed to my girlfriend. [00:03:36] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:03:36] Speaker B: Or should I say a fine addition to my collection. [00:03:40] Speaker A: Congratulations to Jeff for being engaged. I know you guys didn't think he could get a girlfriend, but now. [00:03:46] Speaker B: Yeah, but now I got a fiance. Fuckers. Haha. Jokes on you, Kevin from high school. Wait, no, there's. I have an actual friend, Kevin. Jimmy from high school. [00:03:56] Speaker A: You guys gotta step it up, for real. Honestly, if Jeff can get engaged, what the hell is the rest of us doing? [00:04:03] Speaker B: Good one, Kayla. That was good. [00:04:05] Speaker A: Thank you. Thank you. And takes a bow. [00:04:07] Speaker B: Yeah. It was a very good weekend. We had a great time. I love the fact that I could see you guys tear up in person when I ended. It was just so beautiful. It was such a good, so great. [00:04:20] Speaker A: I hate making eye contact sometimes, so playing and looking all of you in the eye was kind of a nightmare for me. [00:04:26] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. And I'm like, it was so funny because we did like this whole thing. We all dressed up as our d and d characters, and I proposed in front of a waterfall. It was all really purity. Pretty, but it was very dark. And our fucking. One of our dudes was dressed up as this character who was like a priest of Thor and just brought in fucking cult robes, like straight up, just black. [00:04:46] Speaker A: It was a costume of like, old monk robes. And it had a pointy hood. [00:04:52] Speaker B: It was like, it like the back. It was just fucking scary. Like that, pointing out the back, not up, not one of those weird robes. It was just super old school. And I'm like, look like a fucking cult because of you. And like four cars decided to drive by. It's like, mind you, the middle of fucking nowhere. [00:05:08] Speaker A: One of us was wearing horns. I was wearing a freaky old timey outfit that didn't make any sense. He was wearing creepy robes and he kept putting his hood up. And we were like, dude, put your hood down in the middle of the road. [00:05:20] Speaker B: You fucking like, we are a cult now. This is what people make jokes about. Someone's gonna tell this story on a radio show or their own podcast. [00:05:30] Speaker A: Hey, it's my podcast. Welcome to Kayla's creepy little critters. [00:05:34] Speaker B: We found a creepy little critter in the woods the other day. [00:05:38] Speaker A: Just, like, cut to Blair witch esque footage of me running down and, like, capturing Tony. I got him. I got him. Okay, string them up, boys. [00:05:47] Speaker B: I found them. We caught it, guys. We caught Bigfoot. We caught him. [00:05:50] Speaker A: It's literally him. [00:05:52] Speaker B: It was a good weekend, though. Yeah. I would highly recommend only doing at least one in person session a year. Like, that's it. That's all you guys need, and you'll be fine. [00:06:01] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:06:01] Speaker B: You get your quota. [00:06:02] Speaker A: Absolutely. [00:06:03] Speaker B: After day five of seeing Kayla's fucking mug. [00:06:07] Speaker A: Mug. [00:06:08] Speaker B: I didn't want to say ugly mug. Cause I didn't want to be rude, but after seeing Kayla's mug for five days, I was ready. [00:06:14] Speaker A: You don't talk to women that way. [00:06:16] Speaker B: You don't say mug to everyone. What? What? Isn't that. Would I say, did I tread territory? I don't understand. [00:06:24] Speaker A: No, it's just. I'm a lady. [00:06:27] Speaker B: Kayla's face. [00:06:28] Speaker A: Thank you. I'll take it. [00:06:30] Speaker B: There you go. [00:06:30] Speaker A: Although you could change the tone a little bit. Jesus Christ. Jeff's such an ally. He's like, oh, did I actually say something bad? [00:06:39] Speaker B: Did I actually say something bad? No. Fuck you. Kayla's face. And we also got on the Titanic and sunk. It was pretty good. [00:06:47] Speaker A: Oh, that was so much fun. [00:06:49] Speaker B: Everyone survived except Kayla, which is so looking in hindsight. We did this, like, titanic exhibit down in Columbus. Whatever. It was crazy. And, like, they give you these boarding passes that you, like, get this. Be, like, a real life person who was on the Titanic, and at the end, you got to scan your boarding pass to see if you survived. And I'm like, that's pretty fucked up. Like, these are people. Like, this is a real person. [00:07:13] Speaker A: They do the same thing at the Holocaust museum. I think that's what it's. To show, like, the impact. It wants to get people attached to it. The Titanic, it was a little much. I mean, it was a lot of. Well, most of the people who died were workers there and poor people. But I was rich, and I died, so. Justice. [00:07:31] Speaker B: Yeah. That's fucked up. That's fucked up. [00:07:32] Speaker A: I was the richest man on the Titanic, and I died. [00:07:36] Speaker B: I'm glad we got to eat the rich and you died. I'm so happy. [00:07:39] Speaker A: Yeah. Jeff got his two favorite things in there. Defeating capitalism and killing me, so. Hey, Jeff. [00:07:49] Speaker B: Yeah, what's up? [00:07:50] Speaker A: Let's read some stories. [00:07:51] Speaker B: I got a d and D story for you. Kayla. Are you ready to hear my d and D story. [00:07:55] Speaker A: Do you, Jeff? Gee whiz, I would love to hear it right now on this podcast that we do together. [00:07:59] Speaker B: Kayla, you sound like a confused person. Three. [00:08:03] Speaker A: That's me. [00:08:05] Speaker B: So this is from our d and d horror stories. Cause, you know, we're classic. We're classic Jeff here. [00:08:12] Speaker A: Unoriginal. [00:08:13] Speaker B: Classic. I didn't. Yeah, unoriginal. I had a story I didn't like, and I had to find a story five minutes before we started the podcast. But this one's pretty good. This is how 250 pounds of corrosive ooze was almost the final nail in the coffin of a three year friendship. [00:08:27] Speaker A: You know, that's what they used to call me in high school. [00:08:29] Speaker B: I do hope that this is how we go, Kayla. Like, I w. I hope that when we stop talking in, like, 300 years and we just hate each other, we just fucking post about it in the rd and d horror stories. Cause this just sounds fucking beautiful. [00:08:44] Speaker A: I like the implication that it's going to take 300 years for us to finally hate each other enough to break up and start posting about each other on subreddits. [00:08:53] Speaker B: Yeah. The podcast breaks up after 3300 years, and we hate it. [00:08:57] Speaker A: And I live forever's guts or I kill you. It's one or the other. 300 years, or I kill you. [00:09:02] Speaker B: Thanks, bro. My first time playing D and D, technically, Pathfinder, was in college. My roommate R, which is, I guess, how they're gonna refer to them, knew someone that ran tabletop games for a club at the university. And we got a few other people together to make a party of our group of five players, four of us were playing our first tabletop games. Though our characters varied widely in character personalities and alignments, our PCs were chaotic evil in name only. Really true, neutral, chaotic good neutral good and lawful evil. There's so many people that follow that chart. I really just fucking don't even think about it. [00:09:39] Speaker A: All of my characters have always been neutral or neutral good, just because I can't be fucked. To actually flesh out their motivation. Their motivations for anything. [00:09:50] Speaker B: See, this is where I enjoy systems like Dresden, where that is in play. Maybe it's in play because it helps people figure out what their character's decisions would be. But Dresden helps you just build out your character in a way that's so much better that you're just like, oh, I know what they're gonna do. I don't need an alignment table to tell me how they're gonna act. [00:10:09] Speaker A: It makes sense for me, too, because I always build my characters. That way, when I build their backstory, I have an idea of their personality in my mind, and then they change throughout the campaign based on the decision and what they've been through. [00:10:22] Speaker B: We're also DM's, so that might be like, we're so good at figuring out character, motivation, and agency without any other thing in our face. [00:10:30] Speaker A: That's true. Jeff will be like, okay, can I get the backstory for this character? And then I hand him a five page dissertation. [00:10:36] Speaker B: Yeah. And then I'm like, well, I'm not gonna read this shit, so it's up to you to read. [00:10:40] Speaker A: That's a lot of words. Too bad I ain't reading them as Duke Newcomb, by the way. [00:10:47] Speaker B: What? That was Duke Nukem. [00:10:48] Speaker A: Yeah, there's an audio. Are you with us? [00:10:51] Speaker B: Yeah, he's right. Duke Nukem, are you in the building? [00:10:53] Speaker A: Mister Newcomb, can you come to the mic real quick? [00:10:56] Speaker B: Hey, Mister Newcomb. Bring him back. Bring him back. Can you bring him back to the mic? [00:10:59] Speaker A: Jeff sucks balls. Can you put the audio filter on my voice to make it. [00:11:05] Speaker B: No, there's no audio filter. I can add to it to make it sound like, dude, no, there's a way. Sorry. There's a way to do it. [00:11:11] Speaker A: Jeff, I know you think you're a bad editor and you think you're not good enough, but I believe in you. I think you're good enough to do it. I think you're so skilled and talented. [00:11:20] Speaker B: I only live to see you die. [00:11:23] Speaker A: All right, what were we doing? [00:11:26] Speaker B: We didn't have a group meeting where we talked about general goals or alignments. Oh, no. Kayla's fucking pet peeve already. No, session zero. [00:11:34] Speaker A: I'm foaming at the mouth already just thinking about it. [00:11:37] Speaker B: I can hear the water dripping out your fucking mouth, bro. We all just talked. I just had a fucking knee jerk reaction. To me editing this in the future and actually hearing your fucking lip smack that you do? That's. That's for us. That's not gonna be in the podcast. [00:11:52] Speaker A: That's just for us. [00:11:53] Speaker B: It's just for us. It's a little treat for us. [00:11:55] Speaker A: Delicious. [00:11:56] Speaker B: We all just talked briefly about general roles, then made our characters based on what we wanted to play and were thrown together in a tavern. I made a chaotic good halfling, rogue, and r made a lawful evil dragonkin. That was some sort of marshal class. I was basically used as the skill monkey as we all min maxed pretty heavily. That's a term that I don't hear in anything other than Pathfinder just because of the way Pathfinder works. Like, rogue class is literally just like, that's what they do, is they have a ton of skills. Oh, but that's such a unique thing to Pathfinder. That's like, I don't know, like skill monkey or like, min maxing the term skill monkey. [00:12:31] Speaker A: Oh, I see. [00:12:32] Speaker B: I didn't mind being the skill monkey, but that meant my character ended up doing a lot of the metaphorical heavy lifting in the game. I felt that my character getting to do so much was breeding some sort of animosity with Ruby, but also thought it was more due to our literal polar opposite alignments. I primarily got this impression because r would make in character short jokes about my character literally every chance they got, including when I was telling the party in character. My initial backstory about how my character's parents dying spurred my characters. Spurred my character. Want to. Want to help others. God, Kayla. I don't miss this. I don't miss reading. [00:13:07] Speaker A: I'm so bad at it. God, it's so hard reading at a fifth grade level. I'm so sorry, guys. We're those awful classmates in pop reading that just can't fucking read anything. [00:13:18] Speaker B: I was the asshole who's like, please keep. Let me read. Let me read. I want to keep reading. I was the asshole that always read. [00:13:23] Speaker A: I would raise my hand if I saw. Nobody was gonna raise their hand. Cause I knew the fuck ass kid that couldn't read would get called on. [00:13:30] Speaker B: No, it's always that one that you're like, ah, fuck. [00:13:33] Speaker A: I just hit my head against the book. Peace and love, though. [00:13:36] Speaker B: In the final session, R had to appear online because they went home for summer terminal. Our group climbed a mountain and explored some caves. Inside one of them, we fought with a corrosive ooze. After killing it, the GM let our chaotic evil player C put 250 pounds of the ooze in their bag of holding. That's interesting. [00:13:55] Speaker A: That's a lot of ooze. [00:13:57] Speaker B: That's a lot of ooze. [00:13:58] Speaker A: That's a lot of ooze. [00:14:00] Speaker B: We did have a thing where one of our players literally put a skeleton into a bag of holding, which was the origin of a thing that happened earlier in the campaign. [00:14:07] Speaker A: Were you gonna say skinny Jones? Because they're not gonna know what that is. [00:14:11] Speaker B: I was gonna say skinny Jones. No one knows what Skinny Jones is other than us. [00:14:15] Speaker A: So Skinny Jones is the name we gave to the creature that lives inside the bag of holding. [00:14:20] Speaker B: I thought it would be really funny someone mentioned it because they saw an article or TikTok or something where they're like, oh, there's like creatures that live in the bag of holding. One episode, God, one episode. I kept having them roll every session where I would just make them roll a D 100. And I had a number in my head and I'm like, okay, if at any point it happens, it'll happen. All of a sudden, one of the sessions happened and, like, the fucking arm grabbed one of the players and pulled them in and was like, this is your final hour. [00:14:48] Speaker A: Jesus Christ. And I just kept calling it skinny Jones. Cause I thought we're all talking in southern accents for some reason. It's just, yeah, two of your characters had southern accents without talking to each other first. [00:15:00] Speaker B: Yeah, you just did it. And I'm like, God damn it. [00:15:02] Speaker A: Hey, lore accurate. [00:15:04] Speaker B: We continued exploring and found a weird pit that was 40ft deep with sheer rock sides all the way down and a door at the bottom. We failed a bunch of checks on the door, then left a bit further along. We ran into a wizard NPC that charmed R so that they could lead the wizard back to the pit. Apparently the wizard was some sort of dragon cultist or something. We never got the full story on the wizard. He immediately opened the door, revealing a giant dragon eye. It was then revealed that the whole mountain range was an entombed dragon that the wizard was releasing. I tried to kill the wizard when we found out what was happening, but after I landed the attack and rolled high damage, the GM let me know that the wizard wasn't even close to bloodied and the cave was starting to collapse. That's such a sick idea. Just opening a door and seeing a fucking giant eye on this other side. I'm stealing this. [00:15:52] Speaker A: For who, jev? I'm the only person you play with. I'm going to be able to know. [00:15:57] Speaker B: Fuck. Nevermind. You'll forget. Honestly, Kayla, you have the memory of a goldfish story. [00:16:01] Speaker A: That's fucking crazy. So you're going to run it for your other table where you do all your affairs at? Where you cheat on us and our family? [00:16:08] Speaker B: I'm not the DM. [00:16:10] Speaker A: Yeah, not the DM. [00:16:11] Speaker B: He's saying I'm just a fairy named Roller. [00:16:13] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:16:14] Speaker B: The rest of the group just climbed out of the pit after my attack, but r decided his character would want to pledge their loyalty to the mountain dragon. [00:16:21] Speaker A: Interesting. [00:16:22] Speaker B: R then decided to attack me. As I'd attacked the wizard, I managed to beat R to the rope ladder we'd all used to climb down into the pit. R was wearing the heaviest armor the GM let us start with. So they were slow climbing up the rope, and only about halfway up, the rest of the group was sprinting out of the cave. However, Cee got a wicked grin and had their character return to the edge of the pit by the rope. Cee then announced that their action would be to empty their entire bag of holding into the pit. 250 pounds of corrosive ooze dropped onto R, knocking them back into the bottomless pit and disintegrating the only rope. [00:16:58] Speaker A: Oh, my. That's just crazy. [00:17:00] Speaker B: That's so fucking mean. I get it. They're chaotic, evil, but, like, that's one of those stupid decisions where that's what the my player would. [00:17:08] Speaker A: That's what my character would do if it would have just been less disrespectful for them to cut the rope ladder and run than to drop ooh. Onto. I love that. [00:17:17] Speaker B: They're just like, let me empty my bag of holding real quick, you fucking bastard. Here I go. [00:17:23] Speaker A: Hey, welcome to Nickelodeon, bitch. You're about to get slimed. [00:17:27] Speaker B: I want them to say that shit. That'd be so fucking great. [00:17:30] Speaker A: That's actually pretty funny. [00:17:31] Speaker B: That is really funny. But also so fucked up. R immediately disconnected and didn't talk to any of us for at least a week. The GM talked to r privately, and things eventually returned to normal. Ever since then, any campaign I've played that was run by GM started a lengthy conversation between GM and the individual players, then as a group about player goals for campaigns prior to starting. Wow. So, Kayla, you'd love this story because it facilitated, like, they had to go through hell to be like, oh, let's just do a session. Zero. [00:18:00] Speaker A: Oh, my God. It's almost like consent and planning works, guys. So fucking stupid. [00:18:06] Speaker B: That's just. I love that, though. I just love it. [00:18:08] Speaker A: It's kind of hypocritical because he literally tried to kill another player character, and then when someone tried to kill him back, he was all like, wait, you didn't kill me? [00:18:19] Speaker B: Come on. [00:18:20] Speaker A: What do you mean? When I do it, I'm pissed because I lost basically. Fucking basically. That's the vibes it gives off. I don't really feel bad. [00:18:31] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. Kayla, am I the asshole? Who's the asshole in this group? [00:18:35] Speaker A: I'm the asshole. I had an ooze the whole time. I think it was, like, a necessary evil, is what it sounds like. [00:18:43] Speaker B: Yeah. Yeah. And you know what he said when he dropped the ooze on him, right? [00:18:47] Speaker A: Yeah. What did he say, jeff? [00:18:49] Speaker B: This will make a fine addition to my collection. [00:18:53] Speaker A: Oh. All right, it's my turn. [00:18:59] Speaker B: Yay. It's Kayla. Hi, Kayla. [00:19:01] Speaker A: Hi, Jeff. My story is called absolute brat rage quits D and D because we decided to keep playing. It's from D and D horror stories. Another classic. It's by. Really enjoys scarbs. Yeah, whatever that means. [00:19:17] Speaker B: Carbs. It's like scarabs, but like, eating bugs and carbo loading on bugs. [00:19:23] Speaker A: Oh, carbo loading on bugs. Even though they're high in protein and not carbs. [00:19:27] Speaker B: I don't know anything about it. [00:19:28] Speaker A: Crunchy, crunchy, crunchy. [00:19:29] Speaker B: I got a $100 gnc gift card from my fucking work, and I'm like, what do I buy with this? Who wants one? Hey, guys, I'm selling $100 gift card. $75. [00:19:39] Speaker A: Jesus Christ. [00:19:40] Speaker B: Tails for the [email protected]. Or tailethetable dot pot. [00:19:45] Speaker A: Doesn't even remember our own email address. You shill. [00:19:48] Speaker B: Yeah, well, I'm a scarb. [00:19:51] Speaker A: I'm still annoyed about this, and it was brought up to me again tonight, so I figured I should vent about it here before I have to deal with the player again. Again in a week. [00:20:00] Speaker B: I legit thought that was you coming at me. I'm like, yo, I'm still annoyed about your fucking scarb joke. [00:20:05] Speaker A: It could be. It could be. [00:20:07] Speaker B: Is it the same energy? Hey, it's me, Kayla. I'm still annoyed. [00:20:12] Speaker A: Hey, it's me again. Fuck you. [00:20:14] Speaker B: Thank you. [00:20:16] Speaker A: We're playing waterdeep, but shit's gone off the rails, so the Gm had to get a bit creative. The cast is. I love this when they do this. [00:20:23] Speaker B: Uh oh. [00:20:24] Speaker A: Friendly Gm Gm in parentheses. [00:20:28] Speaker B: Yeah. Just in case. [00:20:29] Speaker A: Just in case you didn't know, halfling paladin of the laughing God that thinks they're a child that has yet to grow up and generally Robin Hoods about the city with a gang of orphaned children. Me. [00:20:41] Speaker B: Yeah, the laughing God. [00:20:43] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:20:44] Speaker B: Okay. [00:20:45] Speaker A: Teehee. Haha. I don't know anything about the actual gods in the lore of dungeons and dragons. [00:20:49] Speaker B: Yeah, we don't. [00:20:49] Speaker A: Sorry. [00:20:50] Speaker B: We have our own lore. [00:20:51] Speaker A: We have homebrew brain rot. Guys, do not sit at a table with us. [00:20:56] Speaker B: Don't listen. Like, I'm not gonna sit here reading any, like, I'll be. You know what's funny? I piss someone off like one of my in person people. Friend. Whatever. They. I made them so mad because I was pronouncing it dwargar instead of dwar. No, it was dwarger. I was saying dwerger, which is like, the underground. [00:21:13] Speaker A: Is that a dwagar? [00:21:14] Speaker B: And then instead of dwargar or whatever. [00:21:16] Speaker A: The fuck it is, dwerger just sounds harder to say. I would probably say dwagar. [00:21:21] Speaker B: Dwagar. [00:21:22] Speaker A: Tell us how wrong we are in the fucking comment section. [00:21:27] Speaker B: Tell us how wrong. [00:21:27] Speaker A: Can't wait to pose this on YouTube. But the Paladin's name is Pally. Get it? [00:21:32] Speaker B: Mm hmm. Okay. Pally the paladin. Yep. Good, good, good. Like it. So is that the player character? Is that like the storyteller? [00:21:39] Speaker A: Yeah, that's the storyteller. [00:21:40] Speaker B: Like that they put themselves first after the GM. [00:21:43] Speaker A: Always, always tiefling. Warlock that is questionably evil, wealthy, educated, and likes to manipulate the jolly, low intelligent, and wisdom. Pally. Interesting results. Warlock. Shifter glamour bar. That is generally a good time. That's what they say about me. [00:22:00] Speaker B: Challenging shifter glamour bard, who's also generally a good time. You're generally a good time. Not all the time, but usually, like. [00:22:09] Speaker A: On an average scale. Like, if you combine. [00:22:11] Speaker B: Stop reading me your dating profile. [00:22:13] Speaker A: Kayla changeling, monk with multiple personalities based on their chosen form, generally never goes to their weakling, elf looking mane form, and freaks when they do. Brat. Okay, so this is our cast. Start the play. [00:22:30] Speaker B: Brat, me, GM, and then the other guys. [00:22:33] Speaker A: And then the other guys who probably won't come up, if I'm honest. [00:22:36] Speaker B: Probably not. Yeah, let's be honest. [00:22:38] Speaker A: We were down two players, so I won't mention those characters. Normally, the party is a bit bigger than us few. Okay, I was gonna say four people. Well, we've got a kind of. Our group is six. Including you. [00:22:50] Speaker B: No, we have five. Yeah, well, I don't include the DM. [00:22:53] Speaker A: Yeah, even though we always bring an NPC along with us. That's my emotional support. NPC? [00:22:59] Speaker B: Yeah, it's just to make sure everyone's like, good. And I have. So. God, I tell you about my list of NPC's and I show you them. How many fucking NPC's we have in Dresden? Oh, my God. [00:23:10] Speaker A: You keep your legs hard for you. [00:23:11] Speaker B: To keep track of shit, bro. [00:23:13] Speaker A: I only have to keep track of one character. There's a lot of NPC's in Dresden. Spoilers for Waterdeep below, et cetera, et cetera. [00:23:21] Speaker B: Fucking what? Whatever. Who cares? Don't play adventure paths. Come up with your own. No, I'm just kidding. I'm very anti adventure path when it comes to D and D. Personally, the. [00:23:29] Speaker A: Homebrew brain rot is really seeping into your cerebral cortex, bro. [00:23:33] Speaker B: Exactly. [00:23:34] Speaker A: Eating away at that spinal cord. [00:23:37] Speaker B: Maybe it's good for starting, I guess. I don't know if you're a starter. [00:23:40] Speaker A: DM, but I think it's good to experience the classics. I really want to play Curse of Strahd. [00:23:44] Speaker B: Sure, shut up. Find someone else to play it with. [00:23:46] Speaker A: So we just fought the poverty beholder, and nobody was looking too great. Brat got caught in Pally's moonbeam. They were forced into their OG form. They proceeded to freak out and cower, trying to hide from everyone while generally being very low on HP. This is in character, so it's understandable. Halle tries to give them a quick high five to heal them up. Since we're in what is essentially a dungeon. They run away and cower. [00:24:13] Speaker B: High five. [00:24:14] Speaker A: Smack. They run away and cower some more, eventually causing Pally to tackle them to get a heel off. Probably not ideal, for sure. They're just, like, running away on five gp, and Polly's just like, come here and has tackled them to heal them. I think it was like, what's the one where you have to touch them to heal them? [00:24:34] Speaker B: It's their lay on hands thing. [00:24:35] Speaker A: Yeah, lay on hands. Probably not ideal, sure. But at least the guy wasn't in the danger zone anymore. Brat proceeds to get hysterical and compare it to assault. Well, all right, if you say so. Granted, they were probably just being hyperbolic, but saying a character who mentally acts like a child assaulted them over a high five heel is a bit much in my book. Regardless, the session ended. Hyperbole. No, it's hyperbolic. [00:25:00] Speaker B: It's not hyperbolic. It was 100% not hyperbolic. [00:25:04] Speaker A: Hyperbolic. Why the fuck would anybody say Jeffrey hyperbole? [00:25:08] Speaker B: Hyperbolic. [00:25:09] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:10] Speaker B: Nah, that's bullshit. I hate that. I don't like that. That's. [00:25:12] Speaker A: You're fucking psychotic. [00:25:14] Speaker B: Actually, for the other one, I. Yeah. Cause of hyperbole. [00:25:19] Speaker A: Can you put it in here? The, like, text to speech. Hyperbolic. [00:25:23] Speaker B: Fuck you. Okay. [00:25:24] Speaker A: Yeah. [00:25:25] Speaker B: Anyways, yeah. [00:25:26] Speaker A: Shame on the Internet. Shame on the Internet. [00:25:29] Speaker B: Read your fucking story. [00:25:30] Speaker A: Regardless, the session ended there, and it was left at that after a few calls of. Calm down. You're overreacting. Sounds like they may have just been still acting in character. I don't know if how much of that was coming from, like, the player themselves. Next session rolls around and we start off on the same spot. Brat continues to cower behind things and generally refuses to interact with the party. Given that there's only so much one can do to engage with that character that is actively avoiding the party, we continue to play an attempt to open some small chests Brat was hiding behind while Brat continued their hiding sobbing tap dance. That kind of annoys me. I hate when someone like, it could be interesting, but like, don't overdo do it. We figure after some shit rolls we need a nox spell to get the bad boys to open. So greedy Pally and the gang go about. [00:26:22] Speaker B: Greedy pally and the gang. That's my new fucking band name, bro. [00:26:26] Speaker A: You know, they love this character so much based on the way they speak about them. Is so cute. So Greedy Pally and the gang go about talking to NPC's in the tower and learn that some of the apprentices know the spell. Great. So we make for their area. Deeper in the tower get assaulted by animated staves. Convinced some NPC's to fight said staves. As we slip off and continue our search for Nok casters, brat continues to sulk, now alone in said tower with a dead poverty beholder. Well, alright, dude, you do you, I guess was the general. [00:27:01] Speaker B: Yeah, whatever it is, you're just gonna. [00:27:03] Speaker A: Stay in the room. [00:27:04] Speaker B: Why would you bother? [00:27:05] Speaker A: Like, don't you want to like, like you can act like a coward, that's fine, but like, stay with the party and role play. [00:27:12] Speaker B: They are role playing. This is what their character would do. Kayla. [00:27:15] Speaker A: Oh my God. Don't. [00:27:16] Speaker B: Shame. [00:27:16] Speaker A: I forgot we're fucking writing a book. People who don't really know about cause like characters exist to move the story forward. That's all their motivations mean to us. They're not like a real person. And if you know somebody's not going to try to like pull you up and drag you out of the room based on their personalities, you need to find a reason to stay at the party. You're literally God, dude, figure it out, I guess. [00:27:41] Speaker B: But there's also a way you can work around that where you like, if they were like, they'd be like, oh, well, actually I'm staying in the room and making everyone think that I'm doing it because I'm scared. But if they do some walkie ash, like behind the scenes shit that they're messaging the DM about, that's cool. I'm assuming that doesn't happen. [00:27:56] Speaker A: Me as well. So we find a gargoyle and have a really fun conversation with them, getting them to join the party. Since we're basically down three party members with brat sulking and refusing to do much of anything, Gargoyle is well received and proves to be extremely useful in the next combat encounter. I imagine the DM is still like cutting back to them being like, hey, what are you doing? And they're like, I'm just gonna continue to sulk because there's no way that they're just steamrolling this guy after he said he was sulking and stuff once. [00:28:27] Speaker B: You know, I have no idea. [00:28:28] Speaker A: Yeah, I guess they hadn't mentioned if the GM was chucking in on them. Oh wait, here we go. Meanwhile, GM is trying to bait brat out by giving them info or little mentions of NPC activity. They snub one or two from what I remember, but eventually, finally stealth after some NPC's find the party. We're in the middle of combat by now and really not doing great. But thankfully gargoyle friend is kicking ass. We're thrilled with them and shower praise. Apparently this was a mistake as it enrages brat and he begins to make comments about us reporting replacing him. [00:29:03] Speaker B: Oh my God. You were gone. You chose to run away. What do you mean? [00:29:07] Speaker A: I mean, yeah, basically. And if the, the DM's trying to. [00:29:10] Speaker B: Bait you back, dude, DM's trying to like get you back into the system. Like you chose. You're choosing to do this. [00:29:17] Speaker A: Well, we hadn't. We just, you know, found an NPC, but whatever. So he sits and pouts and watches us burning up spell slots and taking damage from the masses demon thing that's attacking us. We finally managed to down it, but we're not doing so hot. Gargoyle nearly went down. We heal them a bit, but they're still not great. We shamble off and get to the animated armor enemy. Jesus. One fight after another, I guess it's a dungeon. [00:29:44] Speaker B: It keeps going. Yeah. [00:29:45] Speaker A: Now we've had nothing more than a short rest at this point and we're pretty much all out of heels. Brat is still lurking in the shadows of our passive perceptions, our shit, so we don't notice him. He follows until we enter combat with the armor and are getting our asses kicked, then decides it's his time to shine. While Pally is locked in a fight for their life and losing, he changes into a male NPC the party was very friendly with and pops up from nowhere, landing a series of blows on the gargoyle and downing it in basically one turn. As soon as he did, we all yelled in protest and cautioned him that if he was going to do that he would be met with retaliation. But he claimed he was salty and that we'd replaced him, so he was going to kill it in quotations. [00:30:33] Speaker B: Oh my God. [00:30:34] Speaker A: Damn. [00:30:34] Speaker B: If any of you try to kill any of my NPC's for literally no reason other than being petty. I feel like that would be the time where we actually argue as a. [00:30:42] Speaker A: Table to kind of wait until they were all fighting for their lives and then killing an NPC that was actually helping them a ton. Jesus Christ. I'd be pissed. [00:30:52] Speaker B: That's fucked up. Yeah. [00:30:53] Speaker A: Like, even though technically it's like, they're not doing it, they're doing it in character, but it would piss me off as a player because I like to win. That could be something interesting that you do, but something that drastic does require consent before you go through with it. [00:31:08] Speaker B: Yeah, it's a lot. That's a lot. To just be like, I'm doing this now. It's like, ugh. [00:31:12] Speaker A: Even though she knew we liked the NPC and even though we were literally in the midst of combat on low HP with no spell slots to spare, they then teleport behind the bar to attack them, then retcon attacking them and ending their hellish turn. So they're going for a party wipe, it sounds like. [00:31:29] Speaker B: So they're just trying to kill, like, what is. What is happening? [00:31:32] Speaker A: That's kind of crazy to go for. [00:31:34] Speaker B: A full party with your character fucking cracked, bro. You literally lost your fucking mind. What are you doing? [00:31:41] Speaker A: Yeah, that's actually kind of fucking crazy. I would be pissed over this. [00:31:45] Speaker B: Yeah, I would go straight to Reddit. [00:31:48] Speaker A: I would go straight to Reddit and complain about it to the Internet and get a bajillion upvotes. So warlock throws an eldritch blast and the bard ups gargoyle, while Brat is prone in the middle of the room. I threaten with my longsword but eventually decide to just tie the clown up because, fuck, man, I'm not gonna kill the dude for being an ass. We've all been playing for nearly a year, and the campaign is just about over. So I tie him up, winning the grapple, and when he starts shouting, I gag his character, which was rude, I admit, but I was pretty angry myself. Good for them, at least recognizing that they weren't gonna just kill the player character for just being a dick for a little bit, you know? [00:32:30] Speaker B: That's a lot of restraint. That's a lot of restraint. That's more than I could have done. Holy shit. [00:32:34] Speaker A: To be fair, they did just try to attack an NPC when they went for a player character. They retconned it, but they were thinking about it, and that would piss me off. [00:32:42] Speaker B: They were 100% thinking about, I'll just. [00:32:45] Speaker A: Mention here that Bratt and I don't get on. So the fact that it was me tying him up didn't go over so well. Sure. I mean, the other two were in agreement to kill him, but fuck me, right? So he goes on to say that he doesn't need to put up with this bullshit and enough people don't care about him Irl. So fuck you guys or something to that extent. And rage quits. Much to our surprise. He GM's every other week, so dismantling his campaign right now. And essentially we've got one more game of waterdeep and then Rip D and D with this group. [00:33:17] Speaker B: That's disappointing this guy. Oh my God. They're just a problem. [00:33:23] Speaker A: They warned him ahead of time that there was going to be consequences. [00:33:26] Speaker B: Why would you attack and just because your character wasn't there? I don't know. [00:33:30] Speaker A: That's just a load of bullshit. [00:33:32] Speaker B: To me. [00:33:33] Speaker A: It sounds like he was pouring his personal feelings into his character actions to try to get back of them as well. Granted, it wasn't that bad because he just went for an NPC, but they told him before they went about it, like, hey, there's going to be consequences to this. Because you can do anything in dungeons and dragons, it doesn't mean you're not going to have consequences to what's going on. Dude. [00:33:54] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. [00:33:56] Speaker A: That would piss me off so much. It's hard. It's hard to get a consistent group and for it to all fall apart is so frustrating. [00:34:03] Speaker B: Yeah, but I mean, they wouldn't be on horror stories if it wasn't. [00:34:06] Speaker A: Uh, that's true. I mean, I get along with everybody, so I can't relate. [00:34:11] Speaker B: Yeah, kayla, yeah, sure. [00:34:12] Speaker A: The kicker is that apparently he's fucking livid with me. Just me. So I can't wait for our final session. I'm half tempted to not even fucking go because it's not fun anymore. If this were a new player, I'd be more understanding, but the man is in his mid twenties and has been playing for ages. We're likely not going to get any apology, and I wouldn't be surprised if one is demanded from us for not dropping everything and trying to force his character to interact with us despite the previous assault. [00:34:42] Speaker B: Comments imagine being in your mid twenties. [00:34:45] Speaker A: I'm all for roleplaying and character development, but there's only so much one can do to engage with someone who refuses to engage back yet expects it. I'm just still so baffled by all of this, even considering if somehow I am in the wrong, even though everyone else was clearly pissed and out for blood. I just hope I don't have to follow up on this post for, ugh. End rant. [00:35:07] Speaker B: We are so fortunate if you have a good table. Fucking cherish that shit, bro. Like, that is like the. The antithesis of this whole podcast is just cherish the ones that you play with. If they're good, stay with them, hold. [00:35:22] Speaker A: Them, never let go of them. [00:35:24] Speaker B: Kiss them on the mouth. It's beautiful. [00:35:26] Speaker A: And then, like, twist your head side to side a little bit and then go, WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP, WHOOP. Damn, that was a rough one. [00:35:36] Speaker B: That was a rough one. I'm glad you didn't bring, like, super sexual content, which is amazing. Speaking of which, I have a really quick one. It's just two chapter, two paragraphs. [00:35:44] Speaker A: Oh. Oh, yeah. [00:35:46] Speaker B: So it's really funny because it's a joke now between us that you don't realize is a joke, but it makes me laugh. [00:35:53] Speaker A: Uh huh. [00:35:54] Speaker B: Played in another campaign. [00:35:55] Speaker A: Spirited and evil. [00:35:56] Speaker B: Is it played in another campaign where this one guy based his character off of some animated show on YouTube. He forced us all to watch the show. This show was has been hotel, which, if you don't know, is basically a show about devils in hell or something. He based this whole character off the red devil guy with the radio. He played a warlock and made the whole game about him. Basically, I played with his friends who were actually funny. When I asked why he loves his character so much, one of them said, I don't know. He's just like, that has been hotel man really wanted the party to be bigger, so he kept inviting his friends who were all from different time zones, which caused games to never happen. He invited his ex girlfriend, who barely showed up, and when she did, she tried to bang all of the NPC's. DM was a good guy who didn't deserve any of this. But, yeah, this is just from a thing where a dude just has a bunch of mini horror stories from five e, and I'm just like, it was really funny seeing that fucking has been hotel thing. [00:36:49] Speaker A: I was just like, is that just our group? [00:36:50] Speaker B: It's literally just like, is that literally. [00:36:52] Speaker A: Just our fucking group? [00:36:54] Speaker B: Oh, was it the DM was a good guy who didn't deserve this. Is that what made you think of our group? [00:36:58] Speaker A: No, that's the only thing that threw me off the center. [00:37:02] Speaker B: This is by womanizer. All capital letters. Womanizer 2200. So it might be our group. It actually might be Kayla. [00:37:08] Speaker A: Chef. [00:37:09] Speaker B: Damn it. No. Fuck. You beat me. No, Kayla. It's my joke. It's my story. I better make that. [00:37:13] Speaker A: Got him? Oh, yeah. You can edit it. Say it back to me real quick, and then. [00:37:18] Speaker B: Nah, it's okay. It's too late. The moment's gone. There's also some other raw stuff that I can, like, read, but it's really up to you how much longer you want to go. So there is a good question. We're back here. Welcome to Jeff's corner, where I bring amazing questions to Kayla, and she tells me, just have a session zero and everything would be solved. But this, this isn't one of those moments. This is what it is in the RD and d subreddit posted 7 hours ago so we are very timely with this shit fucking on the news, on the ground, reporting from reddits. [00:37:53] Speaker A: Yeah, just play the news music over that. [00:37:57] Speaker B: No, there's so much editing. Fuck you. What's the silliest raw ruling that's so minor and obscure that most DM's ignore and that's rules is written ruling. So, like something that is in the d and d rules that is just stupid that most DM's ignore. So do you have one like off the top of your head or do you want to think about it? [00:38:15] Speaker A: Easy. Encumberment. It's stupid. And I want to carry as many coins as I want another one. [00:38:20] Speaker B: Fucking, like arrows. Like, don't count your arrows. Like, I don't give a shit. Like, you have. It's assumed that you would always have arrows, and I guess it would be super dramatic if you didn't. But there are other moments that are super dramatic. If you're a ranger, you'll die when things hit you. Sorry. [00:38:33] Speaker A: Sorry. Or just give them, like, right when the campaign starts, give them a magic quiver that just has endless arrows. [00:38:40] Speaker B: Yeah, exactly. [00:38:40] Speaker A: If they want to have specialty arrows, then you count those, which is regular ass arrows. Fuck that. [00:38:45] Speaker B: Like your character who has a gun. Yeah. Encumberman's fucking stupid. What's up? [00:38:49] Speaker A: I don't like XP leveling. [00:38:51] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:38:52] Speaker A: I think we've always done theater of the mind and stuff, and we've done some battle mapping out. I think using a battle map outside of combat is really dumb. [00:39:04] Speaker B: Yeah, I mean, it's good to have a setting to envision where you are, but, like, you don't need to, but, like, also it goes into, well, maybe this is two different things. Yeah, they're two different things. I was gonna say it also leads into, like, initiative roleplay. I think initiative role play is a really good idea, but that's not an ride or, like, rules that's written thing. [00:39:21] Speaker A: This might be a controversial take for me as well, but, like, prepared spells, I think, is kind of dumb. [00:39:27] Speaker B: That's why you would never play a wizard. [00:39:29] Speaker A: Yeah, I mean, like, we just never play those type of spellcasters in our campaign. Carrying spells and just kind of guessing what you're going to need feels dumb to me, and I would just personally ignore it. [00:39:42] Speaker B: There's some in the comments that I'm really liking where it's like, some spells cannot target objects. Like Eldritch blast. And it's like, what the fuck are you talking about? Like, someone's quoting, like, is this chest a mimic? Let's let me see if I can target it with Eldritch blast and someone's like, 100%. Eldritch blast is a mimic detector, which is a good reason to ignore the rules as written. Like, you can't target objects. Fuck. That's so stupid. [00:40:06] Speaker A: A lot of these rules are. I also hate components. Like, for important spells, like revivifying stuff, you should have, like, oh, I found a diamond. But for everyday spells, tracking your spell components is ass. [00:40:19] Speaker B: Oh, yeah. Don't fucking make like I'm the same way. I focus on spells that are big and have a big impact on the thing. Yes, you need components, but, like, also I feel like spell lists and the amount of spells you can use a day also limit what you like. That's a good limiter in and of itself. You shouldn't be, like, in. And I don't even know what the components are for fireball, because I've never. [00:40:42] Speaker A: Used components, but for fireball, I think a lot of the components are actually pretty funny because for color spray, it's like you need different color powders, and it's like you're not actually casting a spell, you're just fucking throwing. It's like dust into their face. [00:40:57] Speaker B: Yeah, that's stupid. If someone's like, the switching weapons rule. The switching weapons is an action in combat. That's like, apparently a rule. So the rule only leads to people dropping their weapons and drawing the new ones as a free action. It contributes nothing to the challenge or enjoyability of the game and can slow down gameplay. So I ignore the restriction that is 100%. Yeah, I'm. I'm on board with that. I like that a lot. [00:41:19] Speaker A: Yeah, it's. It's just stupid because I think a lot of stuff too. Like drinking a potion, being a full action is dumb as fuck to me. I know that one's a little controversial. Controversial. Because some people are like, oh, yeah, you could just flick the cork off and chug it down in a bonus action. I think it should be a free action. [00:41:37] Speaker B: Hmm. That might be something. [00:41:39] Speaker A: I'm right. [00:41:40] Speaker B: Ooh. I like the drama of that, though, because then it's like, oh, shit. But then again, it also, if you think, look at how other actions are, you can't spell and attack in the same turn. So why would you be able to drink and attack in the same turn? I guess. I don't know. There's different arguments to be made. [00:41:59] Speaker A: I also imagine some potions you can kind of just, like, pour on yourself. [00:42:03] Speaker B: Yeah. Like a potion of invisibility. Like fucking poor dad shit. Like crystal water. [00:42:07] Speaker A: Yeah, dunk that shit on top of your head, dude. [00:42:09] Speaker B: Hey, shout out to all my he who fights with monster stans out there. What's up, y'all? That's the end of the podcast. I just wanted to hit, like, a few random, like, Jeff. Hey, that's the end of Jeff's discussion corner. Hope you had a good time. Enjoy. [00:42:26] Speaker A: Thank you so much for having me. [00:42:27] Speaker B: Enjoy the cookies on the way out. They're vegan. [00:42:30] Speaker A: Oh, fuck. [00:42:32] Speaker B: Doesn't mean they're bad. [00:42:33] Speaker A: They're kind of bad. All right, well, thank you guys so much for joining us this week. I felt like we both took a nap before this, so everything went kind of smoothly. [00:42:42] Speaker B: I was very scared at the beginning of the podcast, because you're like, or not the beginning of the podcast, but the beginning of the call, and you're, like, yawning so obnoxiously. [00:42:51] Speaker A: I had literally just woken up, too. Like, you called me, and I was still in bed, and I was, like, getting up, getting up. My nap almost turned into a sleep. I saw mbimbam, too, right before our trip as well. So I've been very conscious of my filler words. It was so impressive to see them in a live show, use absolutely no filler words unless it was for comedic effect. [00:43:13] Speaker B: That's beautiful. I love that. It's a very conscious decision to. [00:43:16] Speaker A: I'm not there yet. [00:43:17] Speaker B: No, we're nowhere close. Sorry. You're not. This isn't my bim, ma'am. [00:43:20] Speaker A: They're such good entertainers, dude. I could never, never. I will one day. [00:43:24] Speaker B: It's funny because when I. When I saw you in person, um, and I saw you in person for in person session, I was like Kayla Williams. I expected someone with your reputation to be a little. [00:43:38] Speaker A: That's so stupid. I'm actually, for all our listeners, out there. I am six foot three. [00:43:45] Speaker B: You are not. You are fucked. You're so fucking short every time. [00:43:48] Speaker A: Jealous because he's so itty bitty. He feels emasculated whenever I stand next to him. So I try to make him feel better and be like, yeah, Jeff, I'm. [00:43:56] Speaker B: Sure I'm comfortable, honey. And my height, I just have a big ego. Yeah, bigger than your height. Wait, taller than you? I have an ego taller than you, Kayla. That. Edit that. [00:44:07] Speaker A: Keep. Keep going. Keep going. You fucking misogynist. [00:44:10] Speaker B: Anyway, Kayla, no. [00:44:13] Speaker A: Thanks for joining us on this podcast where we talk about the worst of the worst while also being the worst. [00:44:18] Speaker B: Yeah. [00:44:19] Speaker A: Find us on our social media platforms, TikTok wallet lasts, formerly Twitter, YouTube. I'll be doing YouTube shorts once TikTok. Tanks and Instagram. [00:44:30] Speaker B: TikTok, you think? [00:44:31] Speaker A: Instagram, Facebook? Jesus Christ. Yeah, it is. It's got, like, six months or whatever, but it's gonna be bad. [00:44:36] Speaker B: Fuck it. Let me. [00:44:37] Speaker A: Let me. [00:44:38] Speaker B: YouTube shorts, baby. Long live socials. Media shorts. Sorry, go on. What'd you say? [00:44:43] Speaker A: YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. Find us on all of these social media platforms. We post behind the scenes content for you guys and also some memes while we're still growing. If you want to get to know us a little bit better, you can contact us directly there, or you can email us at talesfromthetabletop [email protected]. Submit your own stories to us. Tell us we're doing a good job. Tell Jeff he looks handsome even though it's a lie. [00:45:06] Speaker B: Awake. [00:45:07] Speaker A: Thanks on Spotify, there's a neat little section as well. That's a place you can leave comments for us. We are tales from the tabletop pod on all of our social media except for Twitter, where we are tales from the TT. Interact with us there. You can talk to us directly. Please. I'm so lonely. I work very hard on our social media. I've been taking a little bit of a hiatus because my phone is broken. But once I get that shit working again, hoo boy, you can't stop me. [00:45:32] Speaker B: Hey, by the way, just in case anyone was thinking of getting one of those flip phones, the flip smartphones. Kayla tested it for all of you, and she says, don't get it. [00:45:40] Speaker A: No, it's really good. I just fucking suck. Okay, so if you're accident prone like me, don't get it, but it's a really good phone. For real. [00:45:48] Speaker B: Nice. [00:45:48] Speaker A: Thank you so much. [00:45:51] Speaker B: You guys are great. Yes. Two weeks. We promise this time. [00:45:55] Speaker A: We promise. Well, it's up to Jeff. Really? [00:45:58] Speaker B: RB Bell ugh. Bye, guys. [00:46:01] Speaker A: Bye. Be boxed a little bit. [00:46:15] Speaker B: I don't have it. Where's the absolute brat? [00:46:18] Speaker A: I'm not giving you the link anymore. [00:46:21] Speaker B: I like looking. Okay, fine. [00:46:23] Speaker A: Do you want me to send it to you? [00:46:24] Speaker B: No, no. So I have a short one. It's literally like two paragraphs. I'm guess. Go on, keep going. I have one. I'm so excited. [00:46:35] Speaker A: Jesus Christ, Jeff. [00:46:36] Speaker B: The kicker is, see, this is what happens when I don't have the fucking sheet in front of me. I don't know how long the stories are. [00:46:42] Speaker A: Just let me just let me finish. I'll say that's it. When it's two more paragraphs. [00:46:46] Speaker B: Cook queen.